Berry-picking

[Kalyope]

The berries sweat and their juice
stains my fingers and my mouth
deep purple. Blackberries
stick in my teeth and under
my nails. Warm and delicious
as I devour them one by one.

Glistening from the heat
my tanned skin
is as warm as the berries--
baked to perfection by the summer sun,
my salty hair plastered
to my forehead.

[Hannibal]

I miss picking berries, and I do believe it's well past their time now.

Although I felt this poem was average (in comparison to other works of yours) it looks like you tried some different things in terms of breaking apart lines...

In some spots it went worked okay.. but in other spots it just seemed clunky (for lack of a better word) and kinda ruined the 'flow' of the poem.

I'd say this has potential, but maybe try playing with the breaks...

[Kalyope]

I really like the first stanza, but I think the second one needs work...just don't know where to take it yet.