bonecold

[sarafina mable]

hey I came here in a dream with illusions of color yet on the side that?s out I am trapped I thought this magic could undo my rappled web , pause the swinging pendulum ,
then I?ll ask if
I did all that I coulda done

I did cause you were my love up until the day you loo sinned our skins apart and now I hide in my new hide, usually bonecold and silently waiting for you
you?ve always been worth hurting me
my regret will always bring these illusive dreams back to this color full place:
in search of mischief
or magic
or matches
these things have hopes so high to save me,
although in most moments its effortless to see you don?t always see

[lostmushi]

this one is...special
but i like it, it has a particular atmosphere
and i also like your choice of words:
'mischief', 'magic' and 'matches'
it's just lovely, how those words are able to match in a particular way...
nice job
[img]graemlins/thumbs_up.gif[/img]

[La Luna Unita]

From sarafina:

and now I hide in my new hide, usually bonecold and silently waiting for you
you?ve always been worth hurting me

<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">These lines are really affecting, for some reason. I really like the idea of being stuck in a new skin, something that doesn't quite fit right and feels cold and uncomfortable. It makes an image in my mind of a person squatted down in the dark with their eyes alert, skin new and wet, just waiting intently. It's eerie.

And I know I've had a few people in my life that I thought were so important that they could hurt me and I'd never hold it against them.

Hearts,
Luna

P.S. I would love to hear this read aloud. It seems perfect for it. Go do an open mike night or something!

<font color="#a62a2a" size="1">[ February 24, 2004 02:58 PM: Message edited by: La Luna Unita ]</font>

[Hannibal]

sinned our skins apart

<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">This line, made me smile, clap, and stop reading, and re-read it over and over.
I LOVE IT!
I also love the way you use the same word to mean two different things.
Unique.
This peice was kind of exciting to read in a way.
A lot of.. "emotion"
but that line.... WOW, beauty!

[sarafina mable]

thanks for your replys guys!