waking

[sarafina mable]

she saw me chasing you
and I, numbed from the running, breathlessly imagined the taste of life
with stars under my steps to a paradise of sunlight
and I was chasing the idea of you through pieces of my mind
and you were coming through my body in waves, waking what was waiting for you
tasting tasting
taking
I wish you with my blurry vision
and swim with thoughtless effort into your tide

[Hannibal]

is it bad if i find your poems oddly erotic?
Erotic/saddenning.

I wish you with my blurry vision
and swim with thoughtless effort into your tide

<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">this made me think of you crying, and then going to him - or her, or whomever.

I dunno, the end is sad, but the rest, I find erotic in ways.
*shrugs*
I liked it.

[Fliptastic29]

I really like it. Especially how you use the imagry with the tides. I really like this line
"breathlessly imagined the taste of life
with stars under my steps to a paradise of sunlight"
i like how you give life a taste. A lot of this peom appeals to the sence of touch and taste it seems. And i like it no actually i love it,
genius
You get two thubs up from me. keep up the good work

[sarafina mable]

muchos gracias for the replys.
thats not wierd at all that you would find some of my poems to be oddly erotic, i never really thought about it in those terms, but i guess you write what you're interested in [img]wink.gif[/img]