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  1. #1
    HB Forum Owner SHATOUSHKA's Avatar
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    Post

    sometimes i wonder where these thoughts are born....

    my consciousness glares over them like a torch on wet cave
    walls and many times my mind will interrupt itself, as if i had
    already been thinking on these thoughts and somehow happened
    upon them through circumstance or event. my consciousness
    stumbles in to a bustling coffeehouse of thoughts and i become
    enlightened to their existence as they become aware of mine. a
    calm hush surfaces and the once-teeming thoughts scurry from
    the light.

    my mind, an enormous multi-legged creature, walks like a crab
    against the back wall and picking up a struggling thought with my
    giant pincers i bring it closer to the forefront of my thinking. the
    thought tumbles against my hooked claws as i effortlessly twist
    and turn it, examining the very makeup of its being. pressed up
    against my face i can follow it's seams as they dart in and out of
    the densely corrogated fabric.

    between the stoney texture of my grossly exaggerated appendage,
    the thought breathes rapidly... and a deep, cool sensation steals
    over me to which i gasp and shudder as if i had discovered something
    macabre and strange. the very essence of thought penetrates my
    hand and creeps up into my blood and i become overwhelmed and
    frightened at this occurance. the thought permeates my being and i
    become one with it, i see from it's eyes and feel from it's touch.

    i see a bulbous pink cloud trapped in a room with no windows... and
    from the middle of the cloud, a blond winged man sits. another
    voiceless figure flys around him, almost bouncing off the swollen pink
    fluff of cloud....


    the wriggling thought slips through my clumsy grasp and the images
    of cloud and man disappear almost immediately. i lurk again from the
    wall of the coffeehouse and feast my eyes on many glittering prospects.
    but before i can snatch one, i begin to feel a pressure on my hardened
    arched back and i realize that a thought has alighted upon me and once
    again i am transformed into its being.

    i am seated before a large lighted panel decorated by many alphabetical
    characters forming words both foreign and familiar. the panel stretches
    from floor to ceiling and the characters move and change color, mingling
    amongst each other. i sense i am viewing a large city from far above and
    the arial perspective grants me not only the priviledge of viewing a vast
    network of ants bustling here and there, but also the abominable curse of
    a windy solitude.

    the characters rearrange and i become aghast at the sight of a familiar word.
    it lingers on the panel.... looming.... as if my estrangement hinged on that
    single word alone. regaining my placement in this scheme of events, i reach
    out to touch the word, somehow believing that upon my touch, all answers will
    immediately rush into my brain and i will have become acquainted with that
    which is pure knowledge.

    upon receiving my touch, the panel does nothing. the word remains. i hold
    my pressed finger against the word still with much anticipation... yet nothing
    happens. dispirited, my hand returns to my side and i stand there, straight-faced
    and bewildered, at the characters on the wall as they scurry to create a new
    formation. the room goes black and all that is left is me and the wall.


    the imagery and sensations of this thought linger and fade as the body of
    the thought gently yet quickly slips from my back. i have already experienced
    enough for today and i slowly claw my way around the wall of the coffeehouse.
    finding a desolate crack in the wall i retreat slowly, forcing my enormous
    shelled body to become wedged safely within the confines of the wall. there
    i sit to digest and contemplate the bounty of today's ideograms without
    further interruptions from the buzzing thoughts surrounding.

  2. #2
    Inactive Member Beta-Decay's Avatar
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    Post

    I think you need to write a book. Yes, a book would be good.

  3. #3
    Inactive Member NicKKK's Avatar
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    Post

    and for that book to have a blurb on the back that somes it allllll up in one short paragraph..

    or better yet.. release it on dvd. then theres no reading involved at all.

    <font color="#5b5b5b" size="1">[ April 01, 2005 09:03 AM: Message edited by: nickhead ]</font>

  4. #4
    Inactive Member stingger's Avatar
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    Calling signed 1st copy [img]smile.gif[/img]

    trick I learned from Joey.

  5. #5
    HB Forum Owner SHATOUSHKA's Avatar
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    Post

    thoughts become within a dimly lit wooden
    cabin and outside is a pool of falling green
    water. inside, the panel door is open and the
    canvased panes reflect the emerald colored light
    from the pool. sitting on the shiny slick
    floor i hold a list of appointments on a small
    piece of square paper.
    2 names are listed... 1) winged mother
    this causes images to appear in my fake mind...
    of a faceless female form in mauve with wings of
    amethyst outstretched and hovering.

  6. #6
    Inactive Member The Reverend Dark Angel's Avatar
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    Post

    Originally posted by shatzy:
    a blond winged man sits.
    <font size="4" face="Tempus Sans ITC, Tahoma">Thinking of me huh... that's a bad omen.

    And what's the second name listed?

  7. #7
    Inactive Member Beta-Decay's Avatar
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    Post

    Yeah, I was kinda wondering who the second was tooo...

  8. #8
    HB Forum Owner SHATOUSHKA's Avatar
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    Post

    heh heh... don't you know me by now??

    it was omitted for a reason [img]wink.gif[/img]

  9. #9
    HB Forum Owner SHATOUSHKA's Avatar
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    Post

    i laid in the gem quilted bed i knew once
    before surrounded by fence of windows stretching
    until dawn. while laying, i dreamed of you and
    you had appeared at the window, walking through
    pink, with a hand full of folded blue papers.

    i had asked you to lay with me and softly you did.

    i hadn't seen you in two years but you looked the
    same as you did as a boy, only taller. the papers
    concealed your intentions and unknown to me,
    you lay there peaceful, talking kindly.

    you gave me the papers and locked me in the car
    and i had reached over to lock the door beside
    me... but the wind had blown in two seashell
    ghosts that preferred to see me read.

    i saw myself reading and couldn't make out the
    words. there was no text. just blank paper with
    thoughts lifting off. i knew the ghosts were
    watching my reactions and i had tried to seem
    placid and normal.

    the day had been thrown into a particular slant
    and i could not walk forward, only blown into
    the state of things and curious i tried....


    my fucking neck hurts

  10. #10
    HB Forum Owner SHATOUSHKA's Avatar
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    Post

    i was waiting in the backseat of a car on this
    long and leaf-covered drive when i look back to
    see you coming from your overgrown house on the
    hill.

    three men stood outside of your patch waiting
    for you to arrive and as you did, they approached
    you and had attempted to show their affection
    for you -- offering you words of adoration --
    to which you beat them with your fist, killing
    two men and causing you to topple over them.

    the third man, buried beneath the other two,
    reached up from under them, covered in blood,
    and tried to embrace you as he died. but you
    had summoned a revolver to which you shot three
    rounds into his chest... and from the cool
    hard backseat of the car, i could see his arms
    fall limply to the soft, wet ground as his face
    turned over, his eyes shut forever.


    * * *

    i had wandered around a nursery of adults wearing
    a blue skirt of soft cotton and looking at a
    rack of various other infantile clothing. you
    were working until nine and it had grown dark
    outside.

    the attendant came to me asking why i had gotten
    up and i kept repeating the letters CT CT CT...
    to which the attendant rushed to fetch me some
    medicine.

    it was a quarter to nine and anxious i had grown
    as i returned to my bed to wait for you there.
    the others were busy watching television and
    i had changed into something eggshell and
    uncomfortable. i collapsed upon the top of my
    bed and the sheer size of my body covered the
    whole thing.

    i had fallen asleep...

    and when i had dreamily awoken sometime later,
    you had taken me to a nest of canvas wrapped
    between two tall stalks far above the living
    world. you hadn't seen that my eyes were slowly
    opened and you were busy looking down on the
    sparkling night-lit world below. i closed my
    eyes again in knowledge and security.

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