FOR THOSE OF YOU WANTING TO BE A LAWYER....

[SHATOUSHKA]

and those of you wishing to remain sane...
i offer you this:

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size=2 face="Tempus Sans ITC, Tahoma">quote:</font><table border="0" width="90%" bgcolor="#333333" cellspacing="1" cellpadding="0"><tr><td width="100%"><table border="0" width="100%" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="2" bgcolor="#FF9900"><tr><td width="100%" bgcolor="#25004f"><font size=2 face="Tempus Sans ITC, Tahoma">These are from a book called
Disorder in the Court, and they are things
people actually said in court, word for
word, taken down and now published by
court reporters - who had the torment of
staying calm while these exchanges were
actually taking place.</font></td></tr></table></td></tr></table></BLOCKQUOTE>

*****

Q: Are you sexually active?
A: No, I just lie there.

*****

Q: What is your date of birth?
A: July fifteenth.
Q: What year?
A: Every year.

*****

Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.

*****

Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
A: Yes.
Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
A: I forget.
Q: You forget. Can you give us an example
of something that you've forgotten?

*****

Q: How old is your son, the one living with you?
A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
Q: How long has he lived with you?
A: Forty-five years.

*****

Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when
he woke up that morning?
A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
Q: And why did that upset you?
A: My name is Susan.

*****

Q: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in
voodoo or the occult?
A: We both do.
Q: Voodoo
A: We do.
Q: You do?
A: Yes, voodoo.

*****

Q: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a
person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know
about it until the next morning?

*****

Q: The youngest son, the twenty-year old, how old is he?

*****

Q: Were you present when your picture was taken?

*****

Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
A: Yes.
Q: And what were you doing at that time?

*****

Q: She had three children, right?
A: Yes.
Q: How many were boys?
A: None.
Q: Were there any girls?

*****

Q: How was your first marriage terminated?
A: By death.
Q: And by whose death was it terminated?

*****

Q: Is your appearance here this morning
pursuant to a deposition notice which I
sent to your attorney?
A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.

*****

Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.

*****

Q: All your responses must be oral, OK?
What school did you go to?
A: Oral.

*****

Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?
A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy.
Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for breathing?
A: No.
Q: So, then it is possible that the patient
was alive when you began the autopsy?
A: No.
Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
Q: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere.

*****

<font size=30>SOMEBODY GET ME THIS BOOK!!!</font>

[SHATOUSHKA]

9 FRIGGIN VIEWS AND NOT A SINGLE POST FROM YOU GUYS???


CMON! THIS SHIT IS FUNNY!
i tried imagining being the reporter taking
dictation... and i really laughed!!!

loooooooooove that last one! [img]graemlins/thumbs_up.gif[/img]

[TastinGood]

Q: All your responses must be oral, OK?
What school did you go to?
A: Oral.

I like that one. ^^^


I never realized I would be able to ask dumb questions as a lawyer. I guess it would be kinda like now only I would be getting paid for it.

[SHATOUSHKA]

yeah... and someone generating your dumb Qs
in a book to where MILLIONS would read and laugh
at your dumbass... instead of just the 5
people on this board.

[Pudding2001]

hahahahhahah that IS funny! lol i want that book too..hehe

[Beta-Decay]

I will have to look for that book. It is rather amusing.

[SHATOUSHKA]

if anyone cares to run a search for it...
post the link back here... [img]smile.gif[/img]

[Team Hostboard]

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size=2 face="Tempus Sans ITC, Tahoma">quote:</font><table border="0" width="90%" bgcolor="#333333" cellspacing="1" cellpadding="0"><tr><td width="100%"><table border="0" width="100%" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="2" bgcolor="#FF9900"><tr><td width="100%" bgcolor="#25004f"><font size=2 face="Tempus Sans ITC, Tahoma">Originally posted by shatzy:
if anyone cares to run a search for it...
post the link back here... [img]smile.gif[/img] </font></td></tr></table></td></tr></table></BLOCKQUOTE>

Disorder in teh Court
Quicy Oliver
ISBN 0971238006 May 2002

$15 on Amazon

2 left when I checked.

[SHATOUSHKA]

[img]eek.gif[/img] gaaaaaaaaaaaaawww!!!

johnny on the spot!!!

ty HB bot! [img]tongue.gif[/img]

[TastinGood]

Dont you be going and buying this book, Alison!

I already told you the other night I got it coming.

SHIT, did I tell you that or was it gonna be a surprise???

I think I told you.

If not.....
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
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.
<font size = 30> SURPRISE!!! <font>