(1) after i went through the metal detectors, i was informed by the female rent-a-cop that i had been selected for further security screening. i said "all right!" she responded with a blank stare and said "step over there." lighten up, you old bitty!
(2) the next prick i met was the man who did my further screening. after he had gone through everything in my bag, he said "you're clear, have a nice flight." i, like a moron, said "you too." but i realized that he wasn't flying anywhere, so i tried to correct the problem by saying "well, i realize you aren't flying, but i meant to say have a nice day." he just pointed to his right and said "gate's down that way." as if i hadn't said anything at all!
(3) when i was on the plane, i got stuck sitting next to a guy who wanted to talk. i made it obvious that i wasn't interested in conversation, but he just kept on and on and on....
(4) last but not least, there was a middle aged man that was buying a newspaper in the only shop in the airport. when he went to pay, the man working in the shop spoke to him in a heavy accent, so the middle aged man asked him where he was from. the worker said "zimbabwe." to which the prick replied "oh there are a lot of christians there, right?" which he quickly followed up with "so are you a christian?" the worker said yes and the prick started telling him all about his christian exploits. i waited until the prick left to go buy my item because i did not want to be sucked into that conversation. outside of the shop, on either side of the door were couches and chairs placed around small tables. the prick has sat down in the couch that was to the left of the door, and as i exited he said "so where are you headed?" i just walked to the right and completely ignored him. as soon as i sat down i opened a book and acted like i was reading to prevent any further inquiry. but the whole time i was watching him. he was desperate to talk to someone about the lord. he finally got a lady to sit down with him, and while i couldn't hear all of the conversation, it was basically about his christian exploits, you know, mission trips and whatnot. if the above wasn't prickish enough, the guy turns on his laptop to start playing christian cds for the lady. but rather than give her headphones or keep the volume down, he had it turned up loud enough for everyone within 50 feet to hear it. so there i sat, listening to a mix of the b-52s from the airport speakers and some jesus freak from the laptop:
bang bang bang on the door baby
jesus you..
knock a little louder sugar
my life...
bang bang bang on the door baby
raise me higher...
i can't hear you!
my lord you...
BANG BAAANNNNGGG
ON THE DOOR BABY!!!
what jerks!
<font size="4" face="Tempus Sans ITC, Tahoma">AAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!Originally posted by Fibonacci:
bang bang bang on the door baby
jesus you..
knock a little louder sugar
my life...
bang bang bang on the door baby
raise me higher...
i can't hear you!
my lord you...
BANG BAAANNNNGGG
ON THE DOOR BABY!!!
what jerks!
thats hilarious.
<font size="4" face="Tempus Sans ITC, Tahoma">LMMFAO!!!!Originally posted by Chele:
..thanks for shopping with us..i said..YOU TOO!
*snorts*...Fib..that was one of the funniest posts ive read in awhile! I can hear the music from your description.. [img]biggrin.gif[/img] and i just know you were liking the idea of the lady rent a cop "coppin a feel"..i can just imagine the expression on your face when you said..allll right! [img]tongue.gif[/img]
oo..i wasnt gonna say this..but..wellllll...the other day while leaving a store..the lady said..thanks for shopping with us..i said..YOU TOO!..so dont feel so bad.. [img]redface.gif[/img]
<font size="4" face="Tempus Sans ITC, Tahoma">I've done this two or three times myself and I never think abut til I leave the place and I stop and slap myself and think, "You jackass"."you're clear, have a nice flight." i, like a moron, said "you too."
Like the other day when I went to Burger King, the poor teenage kid handed me my food and simple said "Thanks for choosing Burger King" and I said, "Thanks you too". What was that, thanking him for choosing Burger King to work at? I felt like an idiot. I've done that in quite a few many places around town.
I've done that at Walmart a few times, but not anymore. I usually just say "fuck you" now at walmart.
OH and before I forget:
<font size="4" face="Tempus Sans ITC, Tahoma">*LMMFAOROTMFFPIMMFP* That is some of the FUNNIEST SHIT, I have ever read, and yeah I too could just hear it playng! *LOLbang bang bang on the door baby
jesus you..
knock a little louder sugar
my life...
bang bang bang on the door baby
raise me higher...
i can't hear you!
my lord you...
BANG BAAANNNNGGG
ON THE DOOR BABY!!!
<font size="4" face="Tempus Sans ITC, Tahoma">HHHHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAAHHAHAHAHHAH!!!!Originally posted by Genie_thegiggler:
I usually just say "fuck you" now at walmart.
*pause*
HAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAhAHAHHA!!!!
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