i see dead people

[zelazny]

Truly, but not the smelly ones, these are just walking corpses that forgot to die.
*shivers*
It all starts with my job, at the store. I work there every saturday, where i help people, keep an eye on the supplies and generally move big amounts of supplies back and forth.
During this job i see the 'average joe' walking around, allthough it's usually the average jane, as it's most women who do the shopping around here.
The place where i work is a really sleepy town, not that there are no incidents, and there are the usual problems, except that the people there are.. well.. mostly quite dumb.
Back to the job, i get hundreds of people every saturday, when i work. And after a while i noticed that most of them were middle-aged women. Sometimes later i started noticing that most of them were quite.. well.. not ugly, but more or less... completely unattractive (not to give the idea that i've got this thing going for 40+ women, they just all had this .. aura of being uninterested, dull, unimaginative and unthankfull, you know the type, full of their own petty little life that is nothing more than a repetition of the day before)
And every week i work there i dislike those people more. Almost half of all the customers seem to be like that, all closed, no eyes open for the world outside, no empathy, just simply re-running their life, doing everything over and over again.
I'm starting to hate them, they're just living dead, people who are already dead, but forgot to die, they live life out of habit but don't live anymore. Just mindlessly wandering through life, untill they get old, to become disgruntled senior citizens, because that's the way to do it.
Their eyes stare over me blankly, when i help them, not noting a single detail, just percieving to forget it all, i'm just something that they have to go through in their routine. No interest in what happens, besides the new fence of the home of their fellow undead, or the new rug one bought, which she probably does every three years.
They just stare at walls and floors, while i work for them, silently staring away the time untill they physically die. No doubt disgruntled with their lack of happiness, but unable to see that they are themselves responsible for their unhappines.
They just stand there, ignoring me, but also showing their discontent, not even attempting to look me in the face when i give them a receipt, muttering a bland and rehearsed "thanks", whilst already walking away with their undead claws gripping the receipt and the money i just gave them. walking on with the plan.
I hate it that i work for those kind of people, people who are just wasting their lives by being barely conscious of what happens, just repeating and repeating, like an old LP that should have been thrown out long ago.
Please.. Please die, or wake up and see that you are alive, but don't suck the life out of me while i try to work for my life.
Drain someone else's precious seconds.
I hate my job.


Sorry for the long thing, i had to get rid of this one.

[zelazny]

It depresses me, but i'm glad i can let it wear off quickly.

[SHATOUSHKA]

how much longer do you think you'll allow yourself to shrug it off?

[zelazny]

at least a few years i think.
I've got pretty good control of my emotions, silly how most people won't allow themselves to be happy, if someone can control your emotions it's yourself.

But seriously, there's enough at work to balance some of that, cute kids, pretty women, and funny/interesting co-workers. And i don't intend to work there much longer. So that helps

[SHATOUSHKA]

now you know how i feel