Last year I went to the horse races. I was just hanging around after placing my bets, waiting for the races to start. Then some guy comes up to me and says, "The announcer just got sick and we need someone to call the race from the booth. Have you ever done anything like that before?". I lied and said, "Yes, I was the newscaster for my high school TV news show!" He then told me to follow him to the booth. I did and everything seemed pretty simple. He gave me a list of all the horses names and numbers so I looked at them a little bit. Before I knew it, the race was about to start. I was a little nervous but not to bad. Then suddenly the horses took off and I could think of nothing to say!

I stuttered for a few seconds and then gained my composure. Then I said, "Now the race is on and here comes pride (that was the name of the horse) in the back stretch!" I was proud of myself, but the race had just started so I had no time to pat myself on the back. I had to keep going so I looked down and saw one of the horses making a move. I then announced that "Heartaches (another horse name) is going to the inside!" The crowd roared with approval and I knew that I was doing great. Just then I saw a horse struggling, it was 'My Tears'. I announced that 'My Tears' was holding back...trying not to fall." The crowd was already one step ahead of me though and they were all rooting for 'My Tears' to go ahead and make it to the finish. At the back of the pack was 'My Heart'. It was out of the running. After watching all of the slow horses, I focused my attention back to the front and said again, "The race is on and it looks like 'heartaches' and the winner loses all!"


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"If Lincoln had thought being the President was such a longshot, we'd have nobody's picture on the one dollar bill" -Arthur Fonzerelli (The Fonz)

[This message has been edited by TastinGood (edited September 25, 2001).]