I knew I should have followed the instructions from the chain letter I got this past week...

This is a FERTILIZER CLUB

It will not cost you a cent to join!

Dear Friend,

This letter is being sent to you for we know that you are critically interested in your front yard. Upon receipt of this letter take your dog, go to the first address at the top of the list and shit on the lawn. You will not be the only one there so do not worry.

Then add your name and address to the bottom of the list, and remove the top name. Make five copies of this letter and send them to five of your friends who appreciate a good lawn. You will not get any money or checks, but within one week, if this chain is not broken there will be 9,000 people with dogs pooping on your lawn. Your reward will come next summer when you will have the greenest yard in the neighborhood.


Mrs. Harry Butt
236 Corncob Alley

Ms. Lucy Bowels
29 Bedpan Court

Mrs. A. Bigger Movement
89 Rectum Road

Mr. Smelly B. Hind
478 Diarrhea Way

Mr. Oval Crap
1529 Enema Block

Mrs. G. Howie Farts
278 Fertilizer Way

Mr. & Mrs. Took A. Fizzik
734 Running Loose Lane

Mrs. Charles Syringe
#2 Suppository Lane
Whistle Britches, PA


Please note that if you do not have a dog, you can go on the grass yourself. If you are constipated pass this on to your neighbor.

DO NOT break the chain!

One man didn't give a shit and lost his entire lawn!
Send this to 15 people or u will not have a lawn