General Old Age Topic

**Aunt Bee** · October 27th, 2002, 04:22 AM

Thank you kind friends, for all your thoughts, insights and love~!

I have been ruminating on the possibilities to be sure. The consequences, the options, the alternatives, and yes the outcomes as they relate not only to me, but to others in my immediate environment. So many possibilities, truly.

Thanks Z, for reminding me, that the climate there is a lil more temperate than here. One of the things I did notice is the mere ten degree variation in temps on any given day. Quite a difference in the climate I am used to. For example, this morning I was freezing my butt off when it was but 50, but as the day wore on, it got up to 75. A 30-40 degree difference in the course of a day is not unusal here. And, I have always loved the heat. I often say, "I'd be happy if were 100 degrees every day." Maybe living in the desert all my life, my body has adapted to the environment, just like the rest of the wildlife. Here you learn the beauty of the day is in the beginning, before dawn, when you can view the stars and moon, and watch the glorius sun rise over the purple mountains, and through the twisted branches of the mesquites, while inhaling the heady aroma of the creosote after the rains. And, while I enjoy the morning, I also enjoy the day, and the evening! I love watching the jackrabbits, and the bobowhite quail scurry across the grounds as sip my morning brew. I am always grateful for yet another day to begin again. And the amazing sight of our glorius sunsets are something I have never seen elsewhere in my travels.

My experience is as you described Z, a mere ten degree difference during the 24 hour day. And, I was on one of the San Juan Islands, Whidbey to be exact. We are looking at locating our community to the Bellevue area. And you're right Z, I do need to discover my own essence, although I do think I know what it is. The magic of this group of souls is what draws me into believing we can make it work. It is the sharing part that is one of the unknowns for me. Having been THE decision maker for so many years, it may be difficult to step into a new role of just having a vote, sota speak.

Helen, my friend, I think you probably understand more than anyone else the frustration and need to escape that I feel. Thank you for your support dear heart! I just haven't settled it all in my mind and soul yet. I need to get more comfortable with it, and what I need are details, as opposed to the generic. One of the unknowns at present. Time and communication will tell what direction I take. I know I can rely on you to give me honesty, always. Thank you in advance!

Pammy dear heart, I know you care and totally understand what you are saying to me. It is nothing I have not said to myself, over and over I might add. No commitments to anything this year, as I told you. There are many details to work out, and you are correct in that I need to change my situation, no argument there friend! Some of it is the logistics of care as well as the financial aspects of the present situation, not to mention the financial aspects of a medly of us living and working together! I do know I will be maxed out here psychologically, in this physical space in a year or less. I am a patient, tolerant person, however one can only handle so much before one starts to question oneself as to the purity of their motivations and the responses one gets in return. One can only be smacked so many times before one starts to "get it", and so it goes. Lessons learned and all. Tough dealing with someone who has brain damage to be sure. I know you'll hang in there with me, and thank you for your friendship!

Carlos, you always tear to the heart of the matter you do! No BS from you, you just lay it out, one of the things I appreciate about ya! And yes, timing is everything, truly.

Dearest Unkie, you have indeed been through much in the last year. My heart goes out to you for the emotional waves you have been through. Wish I could squeeze ya like a tick hon! And yes, I know in my very being how much you wish me well hon! Thanks for sharing your personal insights, you know how much that means to me. It's that "home" thing that is pulling and twisting me now. I know you know what I am talking about here. BTW, I still have the rose on kitchen window sill, and I think of ya every morning and remember that wonderful time NC. Thank you for being part of my life and always listening! (Hey there are some benefits from kissing your ring-LOL!!). I'll keep ya posted hon!

Capn my friend, you, in all your southern gentlemanly-ness, have been one of the most impressive people I have ever has the pleasure to meet, and yes, share wisdom, philoshipse and just be myself with. You know well that I appreciate your keen insight and take on things. Thanks hon, ya know I love ya!

So, bottom line is, I have decided to do more research and make no immediate decisions, until next year. With my job situation, and caregiver situation, it is the prudent and wise thing to do.

Stay tuned friends, and thanks to each of you for sharing your wisdom with me. It really IS appreciated!

Thanks to each of you, for sharing your thoughts! I am glad you are in my life, truly! [img]biggrin.gif[/img] [img]biggrin.gif[/img] [img]biggrin.gif[/img]

**Tricia the Canuck** · October 27th, 2002, 07:32 PM

(((Unk))) Sorry to hear that your year has been so filled with sadness - I'm glad that you feel something good has come of it, though.

AB, I'm glad you're not feeling pressured to make an immediate decision. It's been my experience that when I allow myself time to think and pray about large decisions, that the right one usually makes itself clear. And it's not usually completely impossible to change your mind, once a decision is made, if you find you have made the wrong one. Besides, that's how we learn :-) I'll keep you in my prayers.

**Aunt Bee** · October 27th, 2002, 07:43 PM

Thanks Tricia! BTW, I got the book you recommended last Fri at my local used book store! It is an interesting read, and pertinent to the situation! [img]wink.gif[/img] I'll keep you posted friend! [img]graemlins/hug.gif[/img]