joke time

[mr rogie]

A man was at the country club for his weekly round of golf. He
began his round with an eagle on the first hole and a birdie on the
second.
On the third hole he had just scored his first ever hole-in-one when
his cell
phone rang. It was a doctor notifying him that his wife had just been
in a
terrible accident and was in critical condition and in the ICU.

The man told the doctor to inform his wife where he was and that the
he'd be
there as soon as possible. As he hung up he realized he was leaving
what was
shaping up to be his best ever round of golf.. He decided to get in a
couple of
more holes before heading to the hospital.


He ended up playing all eighteen, finishing his round shooting a
personal best
61, shattering the club record by five strokes and beating his
previous best
game by more than 10. He was jubilant.... then he remembered his wife.
Feeling
guilty he dashed to the hospital. He saw the doctor in the corridor
and asked
about his wife's condition. The doctor glared at him and shouted,
"You went
ahead and finished your round of golf didn't you! "I hope you're
proud of
yourself! While you were out for the past Four hours enjoying
yourself at the
country club your wife has been languishing in the ICU! It's just as
well you
went ahead and finished that round because it will be more than
likely your
last!" "For the rest of her life she will require 'round the clock
care. And
you'll be her caregiver!" The man was feeling so guilty he broke down
and
sobbed . The doctor snickered and said, "Just fucking with you.
She's dead.
What'd you shoot?"

[cherriesmum]

ROTF...that is just plain sick ..hahahaha

[ellanoize]

Yeah, it is...but it is funny, in a sick and twisted way [img]confused.gif[/img]

[cherrysis]

freakin hysterical man!!!
The stuff good jokes are made of!!!

[ellanoize]

The Boston Globe reported today that Monica Lewinsky, depressed after the media comments about her figure, and wanting a new image, reported to a plastic surgeon for removal of her love handles.

She emerged two days later .... with no ears.

[cherriesmum]

hahahahahahahhahahahaha

[cherrysis]

He's on a roll now!!!

[ellanoize]

<font color="#000000" size="1">[ February 01, 2007 01:20 PM: Message edited by: ellanoize ]</font>

[ellanoize]

[Wingnut!]

Love Dress

A woman dropped in unannounced at her son's house. Having knocked on the door she immediately walked in. She was shocked to see her daughter-in-law lying on the couch, totally naked. Soft music was playing, and tha aroma of perfume filled the room.

"What are you doing?" she asked.
"I'm waiting for Justin to come home from work." The Daughter-in-law answered.
"But your naked!" the mother-in-law exclaimed.
"This is my love dress," the daughter-in-law explained.
"Love dress? But your naked!"
"Justin loves me to wear this dress," she explained. "Every time he sees me in this dress, he instantly becomes romantic and ravages me for hours."

The mother-in-law left. When she got home she undressed, showered, put on her best perfume, dimmed the lights, put on a romantic CD, and lay on the couch waiting for her husband to get arrive.
Finally, her husband came home. He walked in and saw her lying there so provocatively.

"What are you doing?" he asked.

"This is my love dress," she whispered, sensually.

"Needs ironing," he said, "Whats for dinner?"