mistakes..

[heidi!]

A friend of mine told me she was pregnant last night.....she already has one son ..the father isnt in the picture....she's barely making enough money to raise the child she has......she say's it was a mistake.....but this time the guy " is goin to marry her"..they have been together a whole six months......I kinda just looked at her....the first time she got pregnant she was young.......made a mistake..I know this happens cause many of my friends had children when they were young......most of them arent with the fathers of these children but shit happens..

but to let it happen twice.......two different guys........neither of them a sure thing .......she hasnt told him yet ..but she's convinced he's goin to be happy and marry her.........Ever have a friend you wanted to shake into reality?

I guess my question is......Am I the only one that thinks it happening once is a mistake.....letting it happen twice is just stupid when you cant afford it?

Btw I hope they do marry.....I hope it all works out for her.......I guess I just would of done it a different way......and if it dont work out......she'll have two kids with little income.......Some people think I put too much into the fact you need money to live...which maybe is the case......but I'd hate to be poor tryin to raise two kids ...I dunno......Maybe its just me?

[img]confused.gif[/img]

[~R-B~]

I agree with you 100%. I do hope for your friends sake and even more for the child she's carrying that things do work out with this guy. I would be scared shitless if I were her. I couldn't imagine being a single mom. My best friend is and I see her struggle all the time. I don't see why your friend would want to put herself in that situation yet again.

I think it's important to put a strong emphasis on income because let's face it, it takes money to raise kids, as well as other things. I know I want to be able to give my son a whole heck of a lot and can not do so without money. I want to save money for him as well for education because Lord knows it's crazy expensive now a days to pursue a post secondary education. I know there are a lot of personal preferences and what not when it comes to raising children but I do believe that they deserve they best, no matter what.

just my 2 cents.....

[Kassy]

I think angelkiss said it perhaps exactly the way i would respond.
The fact of the matter is,,,,is that it does take money to raise a child...I don't have children, but have friends who do, and family members.
You sound like a kind/caring friend to her heidi, and I do believe she is going to need you in her life, to help her through.
I guess another question, that has come to my mind, as this story has reminded me of so many others (that i have known thru the years)...
Why do so many people not use birth control??
Wether it be condoms, the pill, etc.....
Is it a religion thing???
(i am not of a religious nature, which is why i ask the question).......
Cuz i honestly don't know.
Mistakes happen...but 2 times??well yes those happen too....
I'm not real sure what i'm trying to say, only that,i hope the baby and the future of that child are of a warm, and loving environment.
Ya can have all the love in the world, but ya still need money to raise a child.
.......and trust me, i have had friends i wanted to give a reality slap too before....you are not alone heidi....yer just a caring/concerned friend from the sounds of things.
Good Luck *S*
Kassy~*~~

<font color="#70e054" size="1">[ April 23, 2004 11:54 AM: Message edited by: Kassy ]</font>

[imzredhead]

I wish her the best... [img]graemlins/thinking.gif[/img]

[heidi!]

Well the thing is she is ..or was using birthcontrol.......she forgot to take the pill ..Hence where the "mistake" comes in.....but she's so into this guy that I dont think she can see the light of day.....Which makes me wonder if she didnt do it on purpose thinking if she had his child......Him liking kids and all ...he would marry her....... some Women do that....They want someone to love so bad they'll go to any lengths to keep the guy around...and she has done some odd things in the name of love in this relationship.
I dont have kids either....I have never had to need someone so bad that I would take drastic steps to keep them in my life....I have always been if you dont wanna be here .. then leave kinda gal.. [img]smile.gif[/img]
But everyone is different.......everyone has different needs .....and I guess that applies to money and relationships.....So I do hope it all works out for her.....Cause I think if he's not happy its goin to be a brutal wake up call for her...
[img]frown.gif[/img]

[wildnthewind]

Be supportive, like you've been in the past. Mistakes (plural) happen..
Dr. Phil (Wild) [img]tongue.gif[/img]

[Blazey]

*shakes head*...heidi..im glad your her freind..she will be needing one soon enough.. [img]confused.gif[/img]

[mRs.GaToR]

Heidi... [img]graemlins/kiss.gif[/img]
i hope things work out for your friend...
i was married for 4 years...and thought that
having a child would save my marriage...dont
get me wrong...i love both of my lil men with
all my heart...BUT...they are the only good
thing that came out of my marriage...after 18
years of hell....im a single mom...and it is
hard...i have money...he pays support...but
they take it right from his pay BEFORE he gets
it or i wouldnt get it...and i work overtime
at work to have extra money for the things we
want...but then im too exhausted to enjoy the
extra things we have....so maybe you should
remind your friend of that...just in case he
isnt so happy about having a baby....i just
hope in her case he is...for the babys sake..

[Carolina Sunshine]

..Jus be supportive...*knows it takes money...works plenty of 12 hr overtime...*S

[*Olivia*]

making mistakes in the name of love...been there done that, huge life-altering mistakes ...but i don't have regrets about it, because there's no point is there?

i've seen women have men's children for no reason other than to 'keep' them but why is it so hard to understand that isn't what keeps a man's love for you...perhaps it will keep him if he's responsible enough to understand what it means to bring a life into this world...but it won't make any man love you more and can lead to many years of unhappiness

sounds like your friend is in for a tough time, at six months people are still getting to know each other.... and talking about how much one loves children is so very different from being handed a baby and being told - this is yours

i hope he is the man she believes him to be and will stand by her and the baby...and her other child...