tuesday

[demon chloe]

is it JUly yet?

is it the 15th?

the 17th?


blaah...

i dont know what else to say


do i have pms...i feel odd

[demon chloe]

just an out of sorts day today......


in so many aspects...

im uncomfortable in my own skin... thats a good way to put it....

[demon chloe]

why do i let certain things get to me?

why do i let certain things even take place...


why do i allow crap... self induced crap

*whacks myself*

[SHATOUSHKA]

soon.......

[demon chloe]

so much i dont know about the world...

for being old..im sure feeling rookie-ish.....

are my tires bad?
i cant put my fucking mini blinds up
i dont know how to get the hose to not leak...
when does soon get here...and soon feels forever away
dinner for one...dinner for one..dinner for one

[demon chloe]

and i know im whining...

its my board..im entitled......


its not pretty or elegant..its just real emotion.....


and i want a bomb pop...but im trying to save my money ...to the point i wont spend 2 dollers on frozen treats...

blah

phooey


sniffs a lil [img]graemlins/cry_smile.gif[/img]

[*Olivia*]

you know...i've been a couple of times without any money at all and with huge overheads to pay and a compounding bank loan weighing over me... and hoping hoping hoping a customer would walk through the door to cover at least one of my staff's salaries for the day

i have eaten plain pasta to give my dog and cats the food they need...and i've done without even the most basic 'luxuries' (hahahhahahaha how's that for a contradiction in terms)...because an awful lot of things ARE luxuries...

and i watched any money that did come in, being poured down my alcoholic partner's throat ...i watched him steal, lie, cheat to get his fixes ...caring about nothing but his next drink

and the thing is....i'm glad i went through those days, because only now can i really appreciate the things that i am now able to afford, and even moreso, the people in my life who won't do that to me

and that is what you will find when this is over amy .... truly....an enhanced appreciation of things....but more importantly an appreciation of the people whom you allow into your life

it will all be well....you will push yourself through [img]graemlins/kiss.gif[/img]

[demon chloe]

Fi....


You made me read your beautiful words.... and well, you're right.... and I do know that...in the end... this will make me all the more appreciative of everything. It already has/is...

But just know...how much you mean to me...and how...that just made me.....wanna smooch you ! [img]graemlins/kiss.gif[/img] [img]redface.gif[/img]


it was the most gentle kick in the butt and i needed it !

[Blazey]

[img]graemlins/heart.gif[/img] ...way to say it fi...amy..we are here for you.. [img]graemlins/heart.gif[/img]

[mRs.GaToR]

Amy.....i love you [img]graemlins/kiss.gif[/img]

it does get better...a lil bit at a
time...it has been 2 years for me now
and i still have my down days...when the
lil "dumb" things get to me...but i have
to look at what i have now compared to
what i had before...and remember i am me
now and that is what is most important...
me and my lil men are safe now...and im
happy...but i know exactly what you mean
when you say "im uncomfortable in my own
skin"...days that i dont know how to explain
what im feeling....that is the perfect way
to describe it...but trust me Sweetpea...
it will get better! *HUGS* ya tight