owie!

[demon chloe]

FEMALE SOFA----- A 500lb. woman from Illinois was examined in a
hospital. During the examination, an asthma inhaler fell from under her
armpit, a dime was found under one of her breasts and a remote control was
found lodged between the folds of her vulva.

PRICKLY PAIR-----OUCH! In Michigan, a man came into the ER with
lacerations to his penis. He complained that his wife had "...a rat in her
privates..." and it bit him during sex (not the first conclusion I would
have drawn I don't think). After an examination of his wife, it was
revealed that she had a surgical needle left inside her after a recent
hysterectomy.

PING PONG ANYONE?----- A 20 year old man came into the ER with a stony
mass in his rectum. He said that he and his boyfriend were fooling around
with concrete mix, then his boyfriend had the idea of pouring the mix into
his anus using a funnel (as you do)?!!. The concrete then hardened (no
s%^t!), causing constipation and pain. Under general anesthesia, a perfect
concrete cast of the man's rectum was removed along with a ping pong ball.
(Boy we live sheltered lives - thank goodness)

BLIND DRUNK----- A drunk staggered into a Pennsylvania ER complaining
of severe pain while trying to remove his contact lenses. He said that they
would come out halfway, but they always popped back in. A nurse tried to
help using a suction pump, but without success. Finally, a doctor examined
him and discovered the man did not have his contact lenses in at all. He
had been trying to rip out the membrane of his cornea.

OUCH AND DOUBLE OUCH!----- A couple hobbled into a Washington State
emergency room covered in bloody restaurant towels. The man had his hands
around his abdomen and the woman had hers around her head. They eventually
explained to doctors that they had gone out that evening for a romantic
dinner. Overcome with passion, the woman crept under the table to
administer oral sex to the man (Classy or what??). While in the act, she
had an epileptic fit, which caused her to clamp down on the man's penis and
wrench it from side to side. In agony and desperation, the man grabbed a
fork and stabbed her in the head until she let go.

And you thought YOU were having a bad day!!!!

[^GOD^]

[img]eek.gif[/img]

[Meow Kitty]

Holy Smokes!!! Just goes to show, truth is stranger than fiction! [img]eek.gif[/img]

Where did you find this stores?? Funny, in a warped way.. [img]biggrin.gif[/img]

[JohnUK]

I'm glad I woke up to that...

Because if I'd read those before going to bed, I hate to imagine what sort of dreams I would have had *L

[mRs.GaToR]

OMG! [img]eek.gif[/img]
so glad im a [img]graemlins/angel.gif[/img] *EG*

[Berry]

talk bout fuckin warped *L*