Friendships

[The Reverend Dark Angel]

Two people who have completely different viewpoints on what friendship is will never find common ground. You think one should apologize for this and that, I think a friend should never have to say their sorry. You believe in rules being set for the friendship, I believe rules limit the friendship. You believe in having Expectations met in the friendship, I believe having Expectations means you've already expected too much. But bottom line, at least to me, true friendship is not having to explain what it is.

[demon chloe]

here's my take....

Friends... friendship....

I make friends easily. I must be that friendly face in the crowd because people feel comfortable making friends with me. Even though im friendly... I let few people close. You can only get so far and then you meet up with the great wall. Great wall of Amy. That's a good name.

Having friends and being a friend are two very different things. Sometime's im a horrible friend. Sometime's im not there when people need me to be. SOmetime's im not as sharing as I should be with my friends. Sometimes I am simply way off the mark. Especially the last few years. I've lost my edge. I used to think that was something special about me, the fact that I am a good friend. Then my life started unraveling in certain areas and instead of reaching out, I turned inward. Or, even worse I reached out and no one was there... or perhaps not there like I needed them to be.

My oldest dearest friend. There for me through thick and thin all that...and I her. From 3rd grade on. Tight as all. From living across the world, to crying together over the dick that broke her heart, reminding her she'd love again..ect... all that... to the same stuff for me - parents dying, falling in love, falling in hurt, job stuff. All of it. I've tried my hardest to turn her away. I'm not proud of it. Ashamed is a better word. To be honest, it's the hardest thing to see her so entirely happy... to see her have what I so desparately want, and yet don't have. So, I don't call back. SHe called religious, once every 3 weeks..... then once a month... then every other... now holidays.... Bless her heart. What an amazing person. Just was hard. Is hard. Not a pity party. Just some things that made it hard for me to be a good friend right now.

Same with Mindy. TOtally turned her life towards great from good, to the point shes not much time for me and when she does, often times I don't want to hear how great things are. Again, rotten friend I am.

Same with Chele. Like a blessing from above that we connected. Just like a sister in so many ways. What more could I want.... I so totally love her. Yet, I block her out too. Sometimes unconsciously, other times its clear as day. Don't get me wrong - to see her as happy as she has been since last year at this time is AMAZING. I've watched her transform. Taking the good from her old self...and adding it to the great from this new person and well, its pretty special to see. But let's face it, she's busy. It used to be she'd be here on line when I woke up..aand she'd be here when I went to bed. And living across the country from your best friend, this is the way to connect.....But now........She's a newlywed. She started a company this past spring. She's got a job, family ties here and across the world and well, there's that guy again =)....I know if I called her and wailed to her all my problems, shed listen and encourage me... but it's more like me to just give her space... knowing she has all that on her plate.

Last spring was a rough time for me. Lot's going on in my life. Here at home... and in all areas. People I thought were my friends ended up thinking I was way more casual then I thought. Stung.... more than I care to admit.

In July I hit a low spot over something I never really felt before. I think because it was something I hadn't felt, it really rocked my boat. I was like the proverbial sinking ship. Occasionally i'd flail my arms around and beg for help, I met OLivia that way =). It was also a time that showed me who was in my corner. It was a long few months... that felt like a long few years. That was also a time where I felt Chele and I disagreed. I knew she loved me but just like she already said... she walked her path and I walked myne. I had to. She had her reasons too. It put distance between us and even though we love each other, its one of those distances that makes more distance easier. For whatever reason...... For us, nothing horrible just life.

I dunno I guess what im rambling about is..... I am so not a perfect friend.

I know Chele is sick right now, not a day goes by where I don't think about how shes feeling or for that matter ask her. I told her i'd call her Saturday and I didn't. I didn't call yesterday. Should I have? Hell yes... I said I would. But, in my mind I just couldn't. Was a tough weekend for me. CLeaning house (symbolism) and well preparing for a horrible day at work today....... and a bad, bad week for my mom as far as her health.... I cocooned myself, barely spoke to anyone and just did that..... blink like an owl thing... see all, say lil.

And there you have it in a nutshell. No one is perfect. Certainly not me. I like to think I admit when im wrong. I sure as sh it say I am sorry alot *L.... I always have my whole life. Two words I am definitely not scared of. FRiendship. What is life without friends? I can't even imagine. Some times my deepest scariest feelings or worries are a lil less worrysome for telling a friend.

Like i've said before. If you're my friend, you will know. I have to say it. I appreciate outloud. Some call it sappy, others well fuck the others.

[demon chloe]

did i say all that???

[heidi!]

I dont know if being a friend has to require someone being there all the time....Everyone has to take time for themselves.....I know im not around all the time......Redhead and I can go weeks without talking.....It dont mean we're not a big part of each others lives......but lets face it ...Most have busy lives......problems...issues......Somedays its hard to keep up with it all..Life can be overwhelming at times....
I think the bottom line is ...If you're friends ..You just are.

and I cant help it..........but........*L* @ chloe saying "fuck.. [img]tongue.gif[/img]

[mRs.GaToR]

Friends....guess im just now learning what real
life friends are again...i havent had any real
time friends in so long...the life i had i wasnt
"allowed" any...the only real friends i had
were my friends right here...online...so im
having a hard time finding what to expect(i
guess that is the word i want to use) the past
1 1/2 year has been a big change for me, being
on my own for the first time...learning to trust
people again...it has been hard for me...but
i have made a great friend at work..one who is
just as crazy as me...(ask GaToR...she gets me
into so much trouble at work *L*)she is the kind
of friend who i can talk to about anything, who
makes me laugh at the dumbest things, who i can
be so mad at one sec...and be laughing with her
the next...i keep telling her about all of my
friends here...and trying to convince her she
needs to buy a putor so she can come online to
meet some of my friends here...cause she cant
comprehend how i survived so long without real
time friends...i told her she just has to meet
yall.....she would understand...

every friendship is different cause everyone is
different...we all have different feelings...
different values...different backgrounds...i know
my friendship with Jack at work is unique because
she suffered abuse the same as me...we have that
connection...understanding...whereas the other
girls at work are friendly with me...but not as
close as Jack....she understands my down days..
as i understand hers...

[Meow Kitty]

Friendship is about respect, sharing, caring, and love. If you expect friendship to be 50/50 you will set yourself up for dissapointment. Sometimes one person will need more from the other. But it's when friendship becomes so unbalanced for so long, it's time to question is that person really my "friend". Only "you" know how much to endure.

I've lost so called friends because they were jealous of what I had and they didn't. They couldn't share my joy. Oh, and they had alot of joy in their life. I've been hurt and betrayed by "friends", who are no longer in my life...their loss. I've forgiven them and but not forgetten the hurt. By forgiving you are saying, I choose not to let the past actions of others affect the way I live my life - i.e, I will open my heart to people and make new friends!

[Father Dave]

i recently told someone that i would "post no more forever..." but i had to share this- i wrote it in high school...

you said you were
my friend
on whom i
could depend
but when Life and
i began to
disagree-
like all my
other "friends"
you deserted
me..
-------------------

ummm...sometimes we forget that friends have lives too
and we want more from them than is possible for them to give and there begins catch 22- they don't wanna tell us to back off and we don't wanna be ignored and then we don't wanna be a pain and they don't wanna not be there...see?

friends can't always be there but if they want to be- they are still the best of friends...it's all in the feelings...it's all in the total surrender of self but as friends, we must not ignore the other friends needs too.

hell, i'm a crudgmudgeon who has trouble making friends cause i don't open up. and i am critical of friends cause i want them to excell...wherever.

i'm hurting right now cause i'm afraid that what is going on with my physical self is not good and i worry about how i will fulfill my needs to speak to groups and to write and to kyayk and to touch and to climb mountains and walk beaches...but i will...cause i have some friends who don't even know me yet...see?
and if i don't get better they may never too...
and that would be a loss for
both of us.

"i know no strangers, just friends i have yet to meet."

dave

<font color="#70e054" size="1">[ March 09, 2004 02:49 AM: Message edited by: Father Dave ]</font>

[EvolutionHasBegun]

i dont wanna post like a page and a half like everyone else so i'll stick to the basics... asking what friendship really means is like trying to ask "what is God?" "why are we here?" and "what is heaven really like?" (anyone who doesnt believe in god or heaven or any of that bear with me okay) the answer is gonna be different with nearly every person you ask.. and nobody will ever be able to prove any of it... in the end like many things in this universe... friendship just IS..

[Mystyx]

All I know is friends are never forever.... they come and go and leave precious memories in our minds to carry on.... if they come back again, then it is truly a gift to cherish.... Hold on to those with gentle hands....

I have learned putting expectations on friendships is the quickest way to destroy them....

Friendship is like any relationship.... It takes time, love, nuturing, respect and kindness..... its never boastful or hurtful, its kind and never cruel...and even in the rough spots it can still lift.... Weather apart or everyday.... it just is.... It fills up what the rest of the world falls short of.... It sees us for who we really are...and loves us anyway.... unconditionally....

There times when it is time to let go..... Its ok too. There are times when it just dies...Let go and be happy it was and not sad its over.. Learn and grow..... All friendships are different, need different things to exist...its is give and take, but not necessarily in equal portions...but if true it comes back around without much effort.... However... without love, respect, understanding during not so perfect times, fairness and kindness, there is no friendship....

Friends are like footprints.... cherish the imprints into our foundation they leave... with heart...

Celebrate your friends.... [img]graemlins/heart.gif[/img]

[imzredhead]

....I just had to toss in my two cents worth...some great views on this topic...I have never been one to let people into my life so easily...and I can count on one hand...friends I'm close with...its no secret that heidi is my best friend, and I would do anything for her...and she, for me I believe ..we don't always like the same people...don't always agree on the same topics...and if something in life arises that we don't see eye to eye on, we let each other know..that can all lead to some interesting topics during a phone call *L*..I appreciate honesty in friendship...someone I can be who I am with, without change, without exception...we may not always see eye to eye but we are always in each others corners..life changes, nothing stays the same...and friendships change because of it...its how you roll with the punches that determines if that friendship thrives or dies...anything worth having, is worth working for...but sometimes...it can come so easily...that you think..."this is how it should be"...