Laugh Dammit !

[Rogue Angel]

rog... *chuckles*.... that was a good one.... i swear, though... i'm still laughing over the lady that got hit in the back of the head with fuckin BISCUIT DOUGH. *laughs more*... [img]tongue.gif[/img]

[ellanoize]

"How To Get Out Of The Cage"

There were 2 male canaries just sitting in a cage, when one day the door opened and a female canary was tossed in...

She hated being in the cage and flew circles inside trying to find a way out. One male canary looked at the other and said "Hey watch this" He called to the female..

"Hey I know how to get out of here" she flew over and begged him to tell her...

He said, "Meet me at the bottom of the cage."

So she flew down to where he was waiting and he said, Gimme some and I'll tell you."

Being desperate to escape she gave him some birdie sex... only to be told when they were done, "Ha!! There's no way
out of here!!" He flew up and high winged the other male...

Two days later the female was still trying to find a way out
when the other male called to her and said, "Hey I feel
sorry for you!! Meet me at the bottom of the cage and I'll
tell you how to get out."

So... she flew down and he said, "Gimme some and I'll tell
ya." By this time she was distraught and willing to do
anything, so she gave him some birdie sex... only to be
told, "Ha! Dummy there's no way out of here!"

That night the cage was covered and the female was still
looking for escape.... The next morning the cover came
off and to the astonishment of the male canaries the female was flying circles around the OUTSIDE of the cage!!

Do you know how she got out????

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GIMME SOME AND I'LL TELL YA!

[mRs.GaToR]

*ROFLMAO* Good one Roger!

[Rogue Angel]

lmao..... [img]graemlins/thumbs_up.gif[/img]

[ellanoize]

First-year students at Auburn University's Vet School were receiving their first anatomy class, with a real dead cow. They all gathered around the surgery table with the body covered with a white sheet.

The professor started the class by telling them, "In Vet Medicine it is necessary to have two important qualities as a doctor: The first is that you not be disgusted by anything involving the animal body.

For an example, the Professor pulled back the sheet, stuck his finger in the butt of the dead cow, withdrew it, and stuck it in his mouth.

"Go ahead and do the same thing," he told his students. The students freaked out, hesitated for several minutes, but eventually took turns sticking a finger in the anal opening of the dead cow and sucking on it. When everyone finished, the Professor looked at them and told them

"The second most important quality is observation. I stuck in my middle finger and sucked on my index finger. Now learn to pay attention."

[Rogue Angel]

OH...MY...GOD... lmao. i'm not sure if i wanna laugh at that, or throw up!!!!! [img]rolleyes.gif[/img] [img]confused.gif[/img]

[Mer]

LMFAO oh my god thats totally somthing that would happen at my old college lol my psych teacher was a crazy bastard! lol

<font color="#DDA6BB" size="1">[ June 16, 2007 09:48 PM: Message edited by: Mer ]</font>

[ellanoize]

A man with no ears is trying to find a new reporter for their news show.

The first candidate walks in, and the boss says, "This job requires you to notice a lot of details. What is one thing you notice about me?"

The guy says, "Well damn! You got no ears man!"

So the boss yells, "Get out!"

The second candidate comes in, and the boss says, "This job requires you to notice a lot of details. What is something you notice about me?"

The guy says, "That's easy, you got no ears!"

So the boss says, "Get out!"

As the second candidate leaves he sees the third candidate about to go in and says, "The boss has no ears so don't say anything about them, cause he is really sensitive about it."

So the third candidate goes in and the boss says, "This job requires you to notice a lot of details. What do you notice about me?"

The guy says, "Your wearing contacts!"

And the boss says, "Yeah, how did you know?"

So the guy replies, "Well darn, you can't wear glasses cause you ain't got no ears

[ellanoize]

Why Men are never Depressed

Men Are Just Happier People-- What do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack.
You can be President.

You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park. Car mechanics tell you the truth. The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.

You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add character. Wedding dress $5000, tux rental-$100 . People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them. The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.

New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood all the time. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.

You can open all your own jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.

Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. You almost never have strap problems in public.
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.

Everything on your face stays its original color. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. You only have to shave your face and neck.

You can play with toys all your life. Y our belly usually hides your big hips. One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.

You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.

No wonder men are happier.

[BlackMagicRose]

ROTFL....too fricking true. Although men do suffer from DSB which is the male version of PMS. [img]tongue.gif[/img]