unbelievable

[Beautiful~Mistake]

is it wrong of me to be jealous that my mom's spent more time with her boyfriend in the past week than she has with me in the past two years?

is it wrong of me to be crying over this?..

i thought after my dad left that we'd have time to get to know each other..
she quit her other job so she'd have more time for us..
but now she's spending it all with him..

she's gettin tattooes and fucking piercings...

this isn't my mom =(

i feel like i'm 13 years old.. jealous over her boyfriend..
i'm nearly 20 and i'm upset about this..
maybe i'm just being stupid?
i'm pretty good at that sometimes...

[Beautiful~Mistake]

we have a house!..
we put an offer in yesterday and they accepted today..
i'm soooo..
i dunno what i am!..
just............ wow!

[Blazey]

I went thru that too once paiges..it hurts..no doubt about it..i was jealous of him..and the fun they were having..i wasnt included..but then i remembered the times..mom wanted to talk to me..and i was busy with my new b'f..or freinds..or..i just plain didnt wanna listen..its a two way street ..talk to her..tell her how you feel..give her a chance to right it..could be she has no idea.. [img]graemlins/heart.gif[/img]

[Beautiful~Mistake]

i have this sudden urge to hurt somebody..
not physically..
just.. so they know how i'm feeling..?

i want to share my pain with you

[Beautiful~Mistake]

blazer...
i tried to tell her today..
but she didn't have the time for me..
every day she has off, it's with my little brother or her sisters..
she's gone by the time i wake up and i'm asleep by the time she gets home..
she goes on about how good he is to her..
and i'm happy for her..
but he's not a part of my life..
and i don't want him to be..
because he's taking up my time..
and it's not like i even had it in the first place
i never thought this would be so hard..

[Beautiful~Mistake]

just venting...
i guess you could say it's my trial run..
practice speech before i lower the boom..
*L..
this is the fourth night in a row she'll have gone out with him.. tomrorow night and the night after, he's comin here for dinner..
which i have to cook because she'll be at work..
i have to babysit... while she goes out..
my friends complain they never see me anymore and nobody wants to drive out here to see me, so i'm stuck with my baby brother every day..
all day..
except for when he's at school..
then i'm just alone..
cleaning, and cooking
i feel like i have no life anymore

[Blazey]

bless your heart..one day..she will know what she missed..thats the sad part..parents sometimes forget they will be old and lonely and will only have their children for comfort..and if theri kids never got the comfort they needed..they wont know how to comfort.. [img]frown.gif[/img] ..if i were your mom..we'd be more like sisters..thats how i am with my mom now..was a long road to get there..but..we are there.. [img]graemlins/heart.gif[/img] ..chin up..your worth it to me.. [img]graemlins/kiss.gif[/img]

[Blazey]

a HOUSE!..thats awesome!..yours..who's??

[Beautiful~Mistake]

and then i'm thinkin..
well it was ok..
when rant was around..
because he made me feel good..
but he's not around...
and i dunno if he ever will be again..

i'm so sick of being such a fucking downer
i really don't try to be..
i just have a lot on my plate
and it's gettin to me..

maybe it'll be better after we move..
maybe it'll be worse

who fuckin knows...

[Beautiful~Mistake]

i've never been close with my parents..
i guess niether of us are really any good at that sort of stuff
cuz they've never been there and niether have i..
i don't really know why i expected things to change,
but i did..
what a rude awakening..

yep.. new house... it's my mom's...
but.. it's ours...
startin over... just the three of us for now..

i dont think i'll stay long..
there's only two bedrooms and well..
it won't go over too well for very long..
but its awesome..
AND it has a great big yard for my doggy [img]graemlins/heart.gif[/img]

<font color="#a62a2a" size="1">[ March 27, 2004 07:22 PM: Message edited by: the revenant ]</font>