Goodbye to my best friend

[imported_GC_Quincy]

This has been without a doubt, the toughest week I've had in my life. My brother came through his surgery great, and continues to do well. I was extremely happy that he was ok, and then everything crashed yesterday morning. When I got the call from Toby's wife, I didn't know what to do, what to say, or anything. I left the 2nd floor CICU waiting area and went straight to Wilcox Hall, still not realizing what I was about to face. When I saw Toby, I realized my world had changed forever. I guess in the back of my mind I had fought reality, and knew that everything would be ok. Now, it's more than ok for Toby. Nobody can say "poor ole Toby", because he's richer now than we could ever imagine.

For the past 12-13 years, Toby and I loaded up on Friday nights in the fall and hit the road. We've been from one end of the state to the other on several occasions. Going to a game or anywhere else with Toby, you learned one thing very quickly. The ride in the car was most of the time more enjoyable than the event you were attending. He loved to laugh, and to make others around him laugh. If you couldn't laugh around Toby, then it's impossible for you to laugh.

I learned a few things from Toby that I'll always hold onto. The most recognizable thing was, be yourself no matter what. Never be afraid of what someone thinks of you. I remember when my brother had his heart attack back in October, Toby and Melissa came by before going to the GC/PV game. Before he left, he had everybody in the waiting room smiling and laughing. For the moment he was there, he took everyone's mind off of their troubles and pains. That was simply just Toby.

To be honest, it probably won't really sink in until August, when I'm waiting for my phone to ring on Friday, and hearing his voice say "are you ready for tonight? what time we leavin?". I know I'm gonna turn to my left and look beside me, expecting to hear his "words of wisdom", but they'll no longer be there.

Toby was my best friend, he was family, and I'll never have another friend like him. Everyone that knew him, knew how unique he was. The one's of you that didn't know him, missed out on something special.

I have no doubt Toby's in a beautiful place this morning. No doubt he's already ribbing Tom about football. Other than Coach Colobro, there was no other coach he respected and loved than Coach Turner. I was pumping gas yesterday, and said to myself "Toby buddy what do I do now?". As soon as I said that, I had a chill come over me like somebody had poured ice water over me. At that point, I knew I'd be ok. He'll be here when I need him. He won't be here physically, but mentally and spiritually he'll be here.

In a couple days I'm gonna carry my buddy to be placed in the ground. As far as I'm concerned, there's never been a better seed planted in the earth.

Finally to our buddies in the corner.....we'll have to ring those bells a little louder this year. No doubt Toby's gonna be telling Tom some stories about all of us. I can honestly almost hear him say "Tom.....that bunch is crazy". It'll never be the same again, but his memory will last a lifetime.

Finally, Toby loved this board. He thought of everyone here as family. He loved talking sports, he loved talking non-sports, and yeah he loved a good bit of controversy occasionally. He told me once that this board reminded him of a family reunion, with relatives scattered all over the place. We sometimes didnt get along, but if we needed something we wouldn't go without. Take pride in knowing, you guys were a very big part of Toby's life.

Toby I miss you buddy. I promise you we'll carry on the tradition in your honor. We love you.

[1inStripes]

Quincy buddy, I have been praying for you since I ran into you yesterday.

[R0cketer]

Quincy, if there is anything that comes up (someone setting up a fund for his family), please post the information if you get a chance. I know most of us don't exactly roll in the money, but I'm sure that a lot of people would try to do something if they can.

Please post arrangments if you get them.

[imported_GC_Quincy]

They were going to make arrangements today at noon. I do know that he's at Gate City Funeral Home. I'll let everyone know ASAP. I'd love to get something set up for his family. They're fantastic people and Lord knows they really use it. I'm open to anything and everything that anyone has in mind. I'm just so scatter brained right now I can't really think. If someone can come up with anything, please count me in. I know Melissa and Mandy would deeply appreciate it, and Toby would also.

[GC1meover]

[ QUOTE ]
Going to a game or anywhere else with Toby, you learned one thing very quickly. The ride in the car was most of the time more enjoyable than the event you were attending. He loved to laugh, and to make others around him laugh. If you couldn't laugh around Toby, then it's impossible for you to laugh.

I learned a few things from Toby that I'll always hold onto. The most recognizable thing was, be yourself no matter what. Never be afraid of what someone thinks of you.

[/ QUOTE ]

AMEN to that!! No matter how upset you might be or how bad of a day you might have been having...just a few minutes around Tob and you would be laughing and forget all about it.

And, I have to agree with you too on learning to "be yourself" from Toby. Toby was the same person every time you saw him...and he was the same to everyone, no matter how rich, poor, young or old!

RIP Tob...we love you and miss you!

[R0cketer]

I'd suggest that someone in the GC area maybe contact a bank about a fund, I know sometimes they will monitor that or set one up. Not so sure on how that works but it would be a good idea.

[Jason]

I really hate to hear this!

It was a pleasure to have known you Toby!

[imported_GC_Quincy]

I'm sorry I can't be with you today
When all the family's gathered in one place.
But I am with you in another way,
A current in the stream of what you say,
Alive within your consciousness of grace.
I'm sorry I can't be with you today

To share your happiness and touch the clay
That once it was my fortune to embrace.
But I am with you in another way,

An intimate that time cannot betray,
With you always, unconstrained by space.
I'm sorry I can't be with you today

To watch with you the slanting sunlight play,
Casting lovely shadows through the lace.
But I am with you in another way,

Waiting for you where the shadows lay
Their darkness soft across your gentle face.
I'm sorry I can't be with you today.
But I am with you in another way.


I'm sorry you can't be with us too Toby. I have no doubt though, you're in a beautiful place today. Making friends as only you knew how. If anyone had fear before they made it through the gates, I know it didn't take you long to ease their mind.

I'm sorry too, that this is one trip we couldn't make together. Like I told you so many times......wait for me, I'll be there, save me a seat.

[GC1meover]

This is a song that "helped" me when I lost my mamaw several years ago. Its also came to mind when thinking about Toby and how he would want us all to be...

Some day when my last line is written,
Some day when I've drawn my last breathe.
When my last words on earth have been spoken
And my lips are sealed in death
Don't look on my cold form in pity,
Don't think of me as one dead.
It will just be the house I once lived in, my spirit by then will have fled.

I will have finished my time here allotted, but I won't be in darkness alone.
I will have heard from Heaven the summons to come on home.
And when my body is in the grave, don't think that I'll be there...
I won't be dead but living, in the place Jesus went to prepare.

And after all is said and done, know that my last earnest prayer is that my loved ones be ready some day to meet me there.

(Blue Highway - Some Day)

[rebelron]

Great post Quincy. Sorry about the loss of your buddy.