Felicity

Sweet Sam do you live in my neighbor hood?! You've discribed my living conditions to a tea! The children in this neighborhood are like stray animals. I left my front door open for just a moment while I was trying to attach a christmas bow to my banister and this little boy tried to wander into my home! He was old enough (I'd say 10) to know better than just to walk into someone elses house. They destroy my decorations (if they are in the ground they stomp on them) They try to get in the house, if that doesn't work they knock on the door and run. Its just annoying.

As for the little girl who did this to the doll... this is what I would do. I wouldn't tell the parents because they could make the situation a WHOLE lot worse... you do not know her situation at home... where the aggression is coming from (could she be abused?) etc. What I would do if I was your daughter is just not invite her back to my home. I wouldn't destroy a friendship over this, but I definatly wouldn't bring them willingly back into my own home. Constanty find excuses.. like why don't we go to a movie instead... or the mall, or sorry I'm not allowed guest over at the moment. If the girl finally catches on that she isn't welcome at your house... it will lead her to ask why not? Your daughter can just say kindly "Well, things always seem to get messed up when we are at my house so I'd rather we didn't go there." You don't have to point a finger or remind the girl of a particular situation. Unless she has serious mental issues she will understand, and the internal guilt will serve its purpose.

The problem with taking her into your home and letting her know that you forgive her gives some people, who have not had strong parental guidence, with the impression that what they did is ok.

Its kind of the old religious paradox of the killer who kills someone and then repents... then kills some one... repents again (continue for x amount of time)... the problem is that saying you are sorry and the whole forgiveness concept does not work unless you are truely sorry.

Will she be sorry? I really doubt it. I would have felt soo bad if it had been me who had done such travisties... but to suggest cutting the dolls hair... she was diliberatly trying to destroy the doll... it was not an accident or a misunderstanding because she hasn't had one of those dolls. The problem is figuring out WHY is she being destructive...

As sad as it is, what ever her problems might be, I do suggest keeping your distance in some way.

We have a house, and "they" still come around here. Besides the snowman decimation, they also rip the heads off of my tulips and leave the petals strewn all down the sidewalk for several yards. They also fill my lawn and flower beds with litter--candy & gum wrappers, potato & corn chip bags, fast food paper, school papers and notes, and various other items. [img]confused.gif[/img]
Joy

<font color="#051E50" size="1">[ December 04, 2005 04:27 PM: Message edited by: djsnjones ]</font>

Quote:

---

Originally posted by djsnjones:
It's also deficient parenting in that these kids have apparently not been taught boundaries (what's in other people's yards belongs to someone else), have not been taught empathy (how would YOU feel if someone broke something precious of yours?), have not been taught appreciation and respect for other people's creativity and creations, and have not been taught that there should be no fun or entertainment in senseless destruction.
Joy

---

<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">WOW. I read this and thought EXACTLY of my situation!

My brothers have twin friends, they are boys and are 8 years old. They are constantly at the house. You wouldn't even understand. Even when we are at my mothers house, they SIT in our front yard and wait for them! Once, we went out for dinner, and they sat on our porch for 3 hours and waited till my brothers came home and could play. They are literally locked out of their house because their mom forces them out. It's like they don't have a home. It's hard for me to feel sorry for them because they are SOOOO annyoing, yet I do. They go from house, to house, to house, to house looking for someone to play with. And if none of them are home they will start at the top of the house and go down the line again. It's really, really sad. [img]frown.gif[/img]

Quote:

---

Originally posted by Miss_Nellie_OMalley:
The children in this neighborhood are like stray animals.

---

<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">lol--I feel your pain, hun. [img]frown.gif[/img]

Quote:

---

We have a house, and "they" still come around here. Besides the snowman decimation, they also rip the heads off of my tulips and leave the petals strewn all down the sidewalk for several yards. They also fill my lawn and flower beds with litter--candy & gum wrappers, potato & corn chip bags, fast food paper, school papers and notes, and various other items. [/QB]

---

<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Aw, I'm sorry for both of you. The saddest thing is that you just *know* that talking to the parents isn't going to help--if they cared, they wouldn't allow their kids to run wild in the first place. Well, feel free to PM me if you need to vent to someone who understands. Sometimes just getting it out with someone who realizes how unjust it all is helps.

<font color="#051E50" size="1">[ December 04, 2005 11:10 PM: Message edited by: Sweet Sam ]</font>

I know exactly what you mean, Joy. There are a bunch of kids in my apt. complex whose parents never seem to do anything with them--they just unleash their children on the rest of us without supervision or discipline.

They play right in front of our apartments (and scream incessantly while doing so), and I've also caught them throwing toys at our windows and trying to open my door! thank goodness it's always locked. I don't understand why they do this. I've made it a point to ask them nicely to stop--I know being angry with them will only make things worse.

I can't wait till I have enough money to buy a house and put some space btwn us and crazy neighbors like them. [img]graemlins/thumbs_up.gif[/img]

How horrible! It's always so hard when kids want to play with your dolls, but you don't want them too. My cousin had a Samantha doll that got in completely horrible condition because she let her two younger sisters play with it.

Poor Felicity! If you can't find the curls on the other side, you could cut just a very few (like 10-15 individual hairs) to size and recurl them. Also, if you ever go to AG Place they might be able to do something at the hair salon.

Get well soon Felicity!

Kids in my neighborhood are like stray animals too. It's not the kids though, its the parents. The parents just leave doors open, don't care if the kids wander thru all the neighbors houses, most of the time don't even know where the kids are...and its not like the parents aren't home or don't watch the kids, I mean we live in a nice neighborhood, most of the moms are stay-at-home, its just that this is their new style of parenting, its like we live in a commune or something, lol. Everybody just wander into eachother's houses without knocking and take eachother's stuff. They have never taught their kids about boundaries, prperty, etc. - the kids leave their toys outside all the time, even in the middle of the street! They even leave shoes outside! If they take off their shoes while they're playing outside, they just leave them in the grass or on the street and they never brin them back in! We have seen brand new shoes, leather shoes, etc ruined by rain and other weather conditions just because the kdis don't take care of them. And the parents don't care. They're like, "Oh, kids will be kids, it's only shoes..." Here's something else, the children might be riding their bike, decide to get off, and then just walk away leaving the bike right on the sidewalk wherever they were! So everybody walking down the sidewalk has to sidestep it because it's in the way.
The kids don't have to put anything away. Apparently it damages their self-worth and destroys their creative spirit to have any discipline at all in their lives!
We used to avoid the toys and shoes and stuff but now we don't. We will just run our car right over their stuff if its in the way and we don't care anymore. Hey, if they leave it out, it means they don't care about it, and so we shouldn't care about it either.
We even threw a toy stroller in our recycling because it had been left in our garden (!!!) for about a MONTH!
And its not just outside either. Inside, the kids don't throw things away (they just drop trash wherever they are standing) and they leave their dishes out, clothes everywhere, toys all over the place (they're never told to be orderly because it will ruin their childlike spirit *rolls eyes*) and more.
And you know what? The kids in my neighborhood are some of the most disagreeable, disrespectful, lazy, and horribly behaved children I've ever met. They are never taught correctly and they are still having "terrible twos" at the age of 7, 8, 9 yrs old etc. because they are not taught how to behave!
Okay I've been rambling on forever so I'll quit
[img]redface.gif[/img] ....I know where you're coming from.

<font color="#051E50" size="1">[ December 05, 2005 02:26 AM: Message edited by: StarTrekCaptain ]</font>

FelicityFan_85, I don't think it's at all picky or unreasonable for you to not want your doll to be sneezed on. And there's no reason you can't ask people to not sneeze on your doll, either.

Speaking of bikes--In warmer weather, we have huge groups of kids who just bike to various spots in our residential streets (preferably intersections) and just stand in the middle of the street, hanging out and talking. Sometimes the groups get to be as big as 15 or 20 kids, ages 7-ish to high-school-ish. So there's no way a car can get through at all.

When you drive up to them, trying to pass through and mind your own business (excuse me very much for having the audacity to want to use the road for my car!), they yell at you and swear at you and make threatening gestures. Sometimes, after all of that, they make a token gesture of moving to one side the slightest little bit and still barely leave enough room for you to pass through (excuse me very much for not wanting to drive on the wrong side of the road, especially when there's a car coming the other way!). Sometimes I just have to call the police on them. It's just ridiculous! The nerve! [img]mad.gif[/img] So annoying! Again no proper teaching at home. [img]confused.gif[/img]
Joy

<font color="#051E50" size="1">[ December 05, 2005 01:04 PM: Message edited by: djsnjones ]</font>

I have a friend who has allergies and sneezes a lot sometimes, which I can understand, but she always sneezes into her hands and one time last year she kept sneezing and she was holding my Lissie, which isn't horrible like the pincurls being removed, but I wish my friend could've sneezed into her sleeve or something, so Lissie could be kept cleaner. but I didn't want to tell that to my friend. I washed Lissie and her clothes after my friend went home, but now I will hide Lissie whenever my friend comes over again (and she was 18 at the time). (I think it's better if ppl sneeze intot their sleeves instead of their hands b/c less germas are transmitted that way. if can't get your arm in time though, I understand that- off topic I know)...

I treasure my Lissie and don't want anything bad to happen to her- maybe I'm a little over-protected and picky or something?