I couldn't believe the size of the gun barrel
It filled almost my entire left eye socket.

I didn't want to imagine
how much bigger
my eye socket would be if he pulled the trigger.

The gun was never more than an inch from my eye
Until I had turned over my wallet to him.

I guess that's the price I pay
for having chosen to go see her
tonight.

She had a cut on her lower lip,
Which she attributed to falling.
She coughed up blood in the short time we spoke.
She didn't care to see me for long,
I didn't expect her to.
The conversation was sparse and forced,
Broken up by fits of coughing.
She still had the body - now worn with age.
Still had those eyes - only slightly clouded with age
Or was that alcohol?

I pushed myself up from my knees,
Took inventory of myself with my hands,
while my eyes scanned the desolate street.

It was a quiet walk home,
Her image pulled the trigger on my mind,
And my body fell limp into a long slumber.
Home wasn't a place I wanted to be,
But it was the only place I could die.