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[Hannibal]

Something must be wrong,
Because it's taking twice as long for the idea,
The feeling more than that,
To sink in.
It's taking twice as much self-inflicted misery,
To make me sick.
It's taking a trickle of depression,
As opposed to a drop.
Somethings wrong in my body,
Mind of the season.
I'm in the middle of a metamorphosis,
Of self, kind, individuality.
My individual pain is what keeps me real,
Eyes to the heavens,
As my blood falls to the floor.
Now instead of my scratch,
It takes a wound.
I need to see something in front of me,
Tell me my times almost up...

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As miserable as life may be I hold it pretty precious...

If I lose the light of the sun, I will write by candlelight, moonlight, no light. If I lose paper and ink, I wil write in blood on forgotten walls. I will write always, I will capture nights all over the world and bring them to you.
Word And Voice
Motocross Fanatics
General Philosophy

[Trampis]

Hey i thought that was great Hanni till the middle part(somehtings wrong in my body),then you lost me,then you sort of picked it back up at the end(now instead of a scratch it takes awound)
That first part was cool though!

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"Your a Hi plains woman Janet"

[SHATOUSHKA]

i dunno.
naturally, the usage of the word 'metamorphosis' inclines me to relate the passage to kafka's The Metamorphosis.
i do not think hannibal was making the relation, but it certainly fits the crime.
if ever there came a new edition of that short story, hannibal's free verse would certainly look great as a prelude.

well...
everything but the last line.
*imagines*
if it WERE in the new edition, i think the last line should say something like:

I need to see something in front of me,
To show me that I live.

or something like that...relating the metamorphosized 'creature' into the rememberance of once being 'human'.

but this is all MY fantasy.
hannibals free write is cool.

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~~share some greased tea with me~~
General Philosophy
Discuss This...
The Acropolis

[Hannibal]

Actually, thoughts of Kafka's The Metamorphasis were running through my head at that particular line. I didn't think of it before, or after, but on that line, I imagined that novella.
good pick up.
And thanks guys...

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As miserable as life may be I hold it pretty precious...

If I lose the light of the sun, I will write by candlelight, moonlight, no light. If I lose paper and ink, I wil write in blood on forgotten walls. I will write always, I will capture nights all over the world and bring them to you.
Word And Voice
Motocross Fanatics
General Philosophy

[rose]

im not fond of the last line. i dont think that it fits. but i like the rest of it. but that running greyhound drove me crazy when i was trying to read the replies!!!!!!!!

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[SHATOUSHKA]

LMAO! rose!
try to read when there are several of them on a single thread!!!

i agree with you, however. the last line needs help.

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~~share some greased tea with me~~
General Philosophy
Discuss This...
The Acropolis