Wonderland

[Hannibal]

I saw you last night,
In this wonderful, dark, flash in the pan dream.
You haven't spoke a word to me in months,
But last night your voice carried to my ears,
If only from memory.
We spoke of what was coming to be,
And how we would never be.
Your parents promptly shushed me,
And in the moment I refuted violently.
Soon all were gone, and I was alone in the woods (outside your house),
Even though you live in town --
Here you lived far beyond neighbors,
And I lived far beyond your door.
Shut behind a wall of wood and steel.
I wandered off into the night, only to see the sun creep from behind the trees,
And fall into my lap.

<font color="#a62a2a" size="1">[ August 13, 2004 09:53 AM: Message edited by: Hannibal ]</font>

[sarafina mable]

"I wandered off into the night, only to see the sun creep from behind the trees,
And fall into my lap.'

this line carried the entire piece beautifully, wonderful job here. (for no apparent reason, this last line made me think of the smashing pumpkins song 'tales of a scorched earth', i think thats the title. )
this piece is really inspiring for me and i can't really put my finger on the reason why, but thankyou [img]wink.gif[/img]

[Hannibal]

There were a few parts in there I didn't really care for the wording on (like when i'm talking about the parents)
but... i'm glad you found it inspiring.
That's one of teh single greatest compliments I've ever gotten.
I'm actually blushing.
hehehe