Originally Posted by
Giannis-CB
WARNING : To comment on some details my comments contain spoilers. So, I f you have not read this chapter yet, first read it, then read my comments.
Again, a perfectly written chapter. Donna, Ashley’s rival No 3 (the athlete) was different than the s3xfight opponents Ashley met on lower floors. Donna is very competitive, not that friendly to Donna at first, but they get along after their s3xual competition was over. Ashley tamed her, then they spent quite some time making love not war, in a tender way. This says something for the characters of the women. I liked that change of Donna.
The erotic scenes were very hot, now that Yuri’s writing talent is unleashed, we enjoy chapters of chilly hot erotic activities. Of any kind. Thankfully, trib kept one of the main roles this time, I mean the good ol’ REALISTIC trib I like and I expect to read.
The dialogues and the trash talking lines are very good, a fine mixture of humor, slang, and well-chosen nicknames they call one another. Slang keeps a prime role in Yuri’s writing, this is expected, he is young, he speaks and he writes in a somehow different way than the older ones. The language he uses is not a “cheap slang”, it is (sometimes) witty, it also shows a “literary learning”. A VERY pleasant surprise !
What I liked more : Yuri added a short paragraph to show – again – how he thinks about s3xfight between two women. He has an enthusiasm for it, he loves it, he enjoys it.
Close to the end of the chapter, Donna said :
<<We women are naturally competitive creatures. We compete over looks, over men, over fashion, over school, over business and over more. Competing over s3x is the greatest female competition of them all. It puts our very pride as women against each other in a no-holds-barred smackdown of pleasure and intensity. >>
This paragraph is a very well-written gnomic about s3xfight. !!
I liked Donna, I liked Asley (again), I liked this chapter !
Now... Let's see how Ash will face "the Nerd" at ch. 4 !
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