Friendships

[*Olivia*]

i once had a 'best friend'....along the way we spent time together, grew together, laughed and cried together....

i took care of her when her boyfriend beat her up.... i spent hours with her as she decided about her pregnancy (she kept the baby and i went on to be her birth partner).... i got to know her parents and her parents got to know mine (they are still friends i'm glad to say)....i went out of my way to be with her when she stopped working (we worked in the same place)...

then...i needed her the way she had once needed me...and she couldn't be there for me...she couldn't hold my hand the way i had held hers...she couldn't be in my life because in her mind i had made the wrong decision about the man i wished to be with....she chose not to be

i wonder...who of us was the better friend...i stood by her when she chose to remain with someone who physically and emotionally beat her up...i let her make the decision for herself...but she couldn't/wouldn't stand by me when i had to make a similar decision (he had not then beaten me or been emotionally harmful to me, that was to come later)...to her he was just wrong for me and she didn't want any part of it

so i wonder, are you a better friend to stand by someone as they make the wrong decision, or a better friend to turn your back to make a point?

i now have someone whom i know IS my best friend, my chosen sister, my soul friend...and we have been with each other through it all...through things neither approves of...through joys as well...always honest, never judging but always supporting and just being there....ready to help pick up the pieces, ready when the phone rings at 4am, ready to do whatever it is that we need each other to do...and for that i feel blessed...we argue, we discuss, we agree and disagree, we sometimes hurt for each other and sometimes we even hurt each other a little...but we always know it's for the best for each of us...and every time we have come out of whatever we have been through stronger and stronger

i have a hard time forgetting...i can forgive...but i'm not one to forget...friendships can be forever changed by a word, a gesture, an absence...you can always forgive...but to become forgetful about something that you felt so strongly...i don't know...i just know i don't forget

i have friends, though not that many, i am choosy about who i spend my time with for i know that to have too many, i will spread myself much too thin and not be able to be the friend my friends will sometimes need...so i'm careful about taking on another friend...but they do appear in my life sometimes in such a way that i can't think of going on without keeping them as a friend

then there are others who come into my life for a brief moment and that's ok too...not all of them will stay forever, i know that...the important thing is to do my best to enrich them while they are here, and to allow myself to be enriched by them

each of us will follow our own path, and choose friends we might fall out with, but we will through it all find someone to trust with our lives and those are the ones that don't come along often...for me, she has come along only once

and i treasure her as my best friend.. Anuja

[demon chloe]

it's 5 44 and i still have junk on the counter in my bathroom...


so its off to organize...then shower...as I have to be to work early today.....


tense meeting [img]confused.gif[/img] ....

but i think this is an excellent topic.............

it's definitely the rambling blazey of old [img]smile.gif[/img] ...and I can't wait to respond.....


runs to the shower.....

[The Reverend Dark Angel]

Friendship has no rules, it has no bounds, it has no alterior motives or apologies. It's a bond that lasts a lifetime and cannot be broken by even the most heinous of crimes. But in this day and age its just a word thrown around loosely and mistaken for affectation.

[Blazey]

Its something i dont always understand i suppose. I have my rules of freindship..im sure you have yours..what do you require from a real freind?..what do you expect of them..and what happens when they let you down..do you forgive and forget..or forgive and remember to not let it happen again? So many different opinions on things lately..sometimes you think you know someone..only to find out..maybe you didnt really know them like you thought..does this happen to us all..or are some better readers of ppl than others..is loyalty important in a freindship?..and how do you define it so that its fair to everyone involved..When somone one hurts or offends you do you expect your freinds to rise up and defend you..or should you just be prepared to go it alone..when they get hurt..do you rise up and defend..or let them go it alone?..are there really rules reguarding freindships?..or do we make them up as we go..Im in a wondering mood i suppose..this dont happen often with me..demon seems to be the one who posts ramblings and wonderings..but here i am..doing it..hehe..so post me something..answer me..or..well..at least read this and think on it.. [img]smile.gif[/img]

[oranges]

i have a very best buddy, catherine, she is my world and i would do anything for her right there and then no matter what it involved.


i have another dear friend who i also love deeply and feel the same way about yet thru my years i have come to realise other "friends" arent always as genuin as they come across.

for instantance just recently catherine and i have come into some trouble with one of our friends who we considered to be quite close to us. it sucks, i know we are only young (16) so we stil have growning up to do which can be a reason for some off the petitiness you come across but the fact is you dont cause shit between your firends and say stuff about them when they have been everything but unloyal to you helping you when you need it. how could someone just start shit to people if they havent ever done anything to you?


i think its horrible and it makes you apprciate your genuin ones so much more.

i think when you have your best friend and you know that nether or you would have any trouble stopping everything to be there for you or getting yourself into trouble to help out your friend that then you have found the one.


then again, some would do that for anyone no matter it being a best friend or not because thats there nature.


[img]confused.gif[/img]

[~Twi~]

I often question myself just what is a true geniune friend *thinks some more*

[Blazey]

Tj..sadly enough i agree with you only on parts of what you said..freindships can be broken..so easily..and it dosnt mean it wasnt a real freindship when it happens..it just means that maybe one person for one reason or another didnt feel that the other person was respectful of that freindship..maybe not as close as they thought..maybe not the person that they thought..maybe they did something that the other person felt was wrong and hurtful..and rather than trying to talk it thru..or a simple im sorry i hurt you..(pride can stand in the way for sure)..they just said forget it..yes..there are rules to freindship..rules set by your heart..rules set by your feelings on certain matters...real freinds i think can overcome those rules..by respecting them for their freinds..rules are meant to be broken..i know this..but if you really care about somone..can you break them then expect them to forgive it..if the other person dont even say..hey..i hurt you..im sorry..i cant change how i feel..but i can say im sorry for hurting you..it wont change either persons opinion..or values..it just says..i respect you..for you..and im your freind anyway..i know i do not always agree with amy..lord knows its rare that i do..*L..but i end up going..okie..walk your way..i'll be here when you come back..right or wrong..i dont say i told you so..neither does she..thats freindship..hmm..ive some more thinking to do..but i cant right now..i'll be back later.. [img]tongue.gif[/img]

[heidi!]

I have a couple of real close friends.....I can call them day or night and I know they will be there and vice versa.....I love them to death...and believe it or not I actually tell them..*G*
As for rules.....I guess I never thought about that before....I never expect friends to "have my back"......I appreciate it when they do...and understand when they dont.
I do expect them to know where they stand with me no matter whats ever said......to never question my friendship.....To take my word for what it is......To know I care about them......
To honor the trust we have...because I do feel ..If you dont have trust you have nothing.

[Blazey]

ive been trying to decide if i used the word rules wrong...i dont mean rules as in the regular sense of the word..its more of a things we hold dear..things we expect..that kinda thing..if it makes any sense..rules might be too strong a word.. [img]redface.gif[/img]

[heidi!]

what you expect from a friendship.....Thats what I figured you meant..... [img]wink.gif[/img]

For instance I expect God to shaddit about the leafs losing the cup.....stuff like that..*L*

I knew what you meant by rules......I just never thought about it before...see now you made me go and think about something.. [img]eek.gif[/img]