Confused

**Disco Biscuit** · July 11th, 2005, 08:41 PM

It makes me so annoyed that people are guilted into expressing their feelings publically about terrorist acts. It's almost like if you don't give lip service to a momentous occasion, you're an asshole.

I know when we're feeling helpless, saying heartfelt things is all we have, but honestly sometimes it feels like everyone jumping on the PC Bullshit wagon. If you're not with us, you're against us.

People want to see you penitent, especially governments and celebrities.

Darren doesn't the pressure BS when he's got his own problems to deal with, and he shouldn't feel pressured to even talk about THAT.

I know people have been demanding (yes, demanding) more of him, more communication, more more more...but I thought he's done a fine job in the last year of NOT talking when he doesn't have to.

But to those who expect a celebrity to share every last cut toenail of their life, that's just not good enough.

PS: if you think that sounds a little hypocritical of my previous stance of "Communication has gone to crap", it's not...I've only ever had problems with the way the FC/Management communicates, not Darren personally.

[ July 11, 2005 05:45 PM: Message edited by: Disco Biscuit ]

Lainbrain · July 11th, 2005, 09:19 PM

I don't think Darren was forced into this. He is a big boy and can make his own choices.

He has a clear message about kindness and the way he wishes to now try and lead his life. Can't this just be a kind gesture to people that he knows care about him.

**Dyan** · July 11th, 2005, 09:59 PM

Kat, so sorry to hear that you've been ill. [img]frown.gif[/img]

I'm all for kindness .............. could use more of it in my life and I'm certain that I could show more on a day to day basis.

So couldn't Tracey have been more kind to the person who posted??? From what I know, it was one person and they are a long time fan. Okay, so maybe their post wasn't the best thing to do. A tad tacky even. But did Tracey put herself in their shoes before rushing to defend Darren?

Posting something like that would get snarky comments from other fans, esp the 'agree brigade'. It's something that can make you feel very isolated very quickly...... even if it was your own fault. And when Tracey posted as she did, it simply drew attention to that person. Even though they weren't named, people like me would be curious and ask what happened.

Sometimes things like this happen and I just wish that I could say to Darren and his sister "Yes that person was wrong. BUT you have so much and get so much.......... can't you take a small hit image-wise to let them quietly off the hook?? You know that as soon as you post, everyone will come running to support Darren and to say what a great guy he is. I know that you won't mean to single out that person, but that is how it'll turn out."

I'm sorry, but while I agree with what everyone said in this thread, I also have to think that Tracey overreacted a tad. And she (and Darren) holds all the cards when it comes to fan support.

[ July 11, 2005 10:07 PM: Message edited by: Dyan ]

Lainbrain · July 11th, 2005, 11:16 PM

I don't pretend to like the way things are run at the FC board. I can't put Darren and his sister in the same boat though they are completely different people. She isn't at all like her brother and if she was we would be very attracted to her perosnality. I do wish she was nicer and more fair to all people.

As we all know even with our own families we don't always agree with the way they do things but we will defend them almost through anything. Sometimes a dig at them hits as hard as a dig at to yourself.

This makes me think of Carla, I don't know if time has made my mind idolise her more but she was a extraordinary Mod in her time. I know during the end it became to much for her with the kids and all. I always remember feeling welcomed and warm with her around. [img]smile.gif[/img]

[ July 11, 2005 08:18 PM: Message edited by: Lainy Meow ]

**Kattitude** · July 12th, 2005, 08:01 AM

Originally posted by Dyan:
Kat, so sorry to hear that you've been ill. [img]frown.gif[/img]

I'm all for kindness .............. could use more of it in my life and I'm certain that I could show more on a day to day basis.

So couldn't Tracey have been more kind to the person who posted??? From what I know, it was one person and they are a long time fan. Okay, so maybe their post wasn't the best thing to do. A tad tacky even. But did Tracey put herself in their shoes before rushing to defend Darren?

Posting something like that would get snarky comments from other fans, esp the 'agree brigade'. It's something that can make you feel very isolated very quickly...... even if it was your own fault. And when Tracey posted as she did, it simply drew attention to that person. Even though they weren't named, people like me would be curious and ask what happened.

Sometimes things like this happen and I just wish that I could say to Darren and his sister "Yes that person was wrong. BUT you have so much and get so much.......... can't you take a small hit image-wise to let them quietly off the hook?? You know that as soon as you post, everyone will come running to support Darren and to say what a great guy he is. I know that you won't mean to single out that person, but that is how it'll turn out."

I'm sorry, but while I agree with what everyone said in this thread, I also have to think that Tracey overreacted a tad. And she (and Darren) holds all the cards when it comes to fan support.

[ July 11, 2005 10:07 PM: Message edited by: Dyan ]

I get what you are saying Dyan. It may of been better to just respond to the person in a polite explanatory manner.. just saying basically what she said. Then she could of maybe made a post about it if felt neccessary or just waited for Darrens post. IT just seemed to have a steamroll affect. No I dont think the question needed to of been asked, but then I have to remember the differing kinds of people this fanbase is made up of.

Lainy Meow LOL I think my mind has done that to Carla as well. I know she did have certain constraints and issues to deal with and at times I may of thought she was *weak* but in hindsight bloody heck she was a damm good mod. She always took the time to explain to any of the offbeat questions and demands about Darren with just a kind word and a quick reasoning of maybe why.

Kat

**mlue** · July 13th, 2005, 06:08 AM

Just going to add my take...didn't read through everything above very well so sorry if this is a repeat.

Tracey was responding to what had come up in a few posts....really it wasn't a big deal. A couple of people commented that they were surprised he hadn't mentioned it. Maggz expressed her hope that people would not jump to conclusions but as is typical there are people that are not fond of Maggz' style and made some comments. So Tracey was really just clarifying things.

Just my humble opinion...I think Tracey's post was fine. I think it was actually good to clarify for those that might not have realized that the posts might travel around a bit before they end up on the board.

While I think clarifying the timing of things is very helpful, I feel kind of sad if Tracey felt she needed to tell that because people were thinking negatively...but nobody expressed anything negative at least that I saw. Who knows what I didn't see. Nobody was really suggesting anything on that board...just surprise that he didn't say anything which is normal curiousity given he usually does and that we can't really tell the dates things are written. And the thread would have all gone quite normal had Maggz not defended him when he really needed no defending at all since no once was saying anything negative.

*chuckles*...apparantly she needs to stop reading the anti-board.

**mlue** · July 13th, 2005, 06:18 AM

Just wanted to add....one of the complaints around here was the lack of communication and I just think people should take note that I think they are trying hard to be better at communication. D is sending messages, Tracey responded to the questions raised first about his safety and then about this very quickly, Lana is updating...I just think people need to give them some credit for it.

It is not fair to complain that people don't communicate and then to also complain about the communications (whatever the reason behind them is) when they try. That puts them in a no win situation...I think they are trying hard to communicate more even when there is nothing perhaps to say.

**Kattitude** · July 13th, 2005, 08:07 AM

Originally posted by mlue:
Just wanted to add....one of the complaints around here was the lack of communication and I just think people should take note that I think they are trying hard to be better at communication. D is sending messages, Tracey responded to the questions raised first about his safety and then about this very quickly, Lana is updating...I just think people need to give them some credit for it.

It is not fair to complain that people don't communicate and then to also complain about the communications (whatever the reason behind them is) when they try. That puts them in a no win situation...I think they are trying hard to communicate more even when there is nothing perhaps to say.

Mlue I think most of our complaints were in relation to what they exactly communicate about. I dont really care if Darren communicates or not. I d ont have issues with that. I just find it firstly inane that someone had to actually ask..but then as I said before theres differing levels of brain activity within the fc. I dont mind that Tracey clarified and yes a bit of clarity is good... they should undertake to do a bit more of it in future to relevant questions. Maybe they could of done it in relation to o h I dont know.. all those posts about the US tour, release etc etc. Then theres the whole "you have been told" attitude when quite frankly nothing was explained or told actually. Its great they felt the need to defend Darren.. but maybe sometime they would feel the need to defend their own customer service attitude and skills.

I dont know I think their communication while served its purpose also gave the "agree brigade" that little bit more patronising ammunition to start harping on about "you dont have to explain anything" crap they go on with.

Plus you know what I dont think us folks around here have to try anthing anymore.. we are all tried out. We have tried it all.. some gave all!

Kat

[ July 13, 2005 05:22 AM: Message edited by: Kattitude ]

**Kattitude** · July 13th, 2005, 08:14 AM

Okay I just wanted to clarify myself lol. The thing is all I have ever been looking for or asking for is FAIR communication across the fan spectrum. For them right from the word go to civilly respond to peoples relevant queries. To not treat people like lepers. To not enforce archaic rules with no allowance for discussion. They are after all the face of promoting the image of Darren Hayes. I know they cant please all the fans all the time.. but you know what they shouldn't go out of their way to displease half of them most of the time.

Yes they can run their board however they like but its funny that however they like corresponds to a certain group of fans way of thinking.

Kat
[ July 13, 2005 05:16 AM: Message edited by: Kattitude ]

[ July 13, 2005 05:35 AM: Message edited by: Kattitude ]