Discussion

**Tommy.callahan** · November 11th, 2005, 09:00 AM

"The past is a guidepost, not a hitching post", sir mud. Next time a breath finishes its rounds and dies, do not ask for a second chance, use the opportunity to expand. Now, were I not to breathe a little back again, I would be guilty of what I scold.

I'm 18 and a half. Close friends know that I'm really in my late thirties. Even closer friends know I'm in my sixties. I'm a failure in modesty, but I do know that people come to me with questions, and rarely I bestow upon them the answers. I've been called a sage, and I liked it.

My business card should say [Tommy Callowhan]- The Caustic Sage - "you're going to die. who would you like to be the one to tell you?"

I won't be surprised if that meteor does strike in 2029. And I won't care. I'm eighteen and I've got my money's worth already. It's all profit from here, babes.

Now- the two wicks are ready; here come the two sparks.

What makes a person older than they really are?

See if you don't still lie to yourself on this one: what is love?

If those two aren't hooks enough, our more advanced students should have something to pick at from the rest of this message.

If not, you are all mentally insufficient, and are what you fear: little boys banging instruments and trying their hardest to keep their heads above the intellectual tide.

Kisses* -The Sage of Insincerity, Misanthrope

**Muddy Love** · November 11th, 2005, 07:48 PM

What is love? That is a great song by Haddaway. Are we safe in assuming that this question is being asked by someone who has not only been in love, but in fact is so well versed in its true nature that he is fully capable of dispensing advice?
Hey, anyone remember when they showed Indra the marching ants?

Yeah, Fick, I guess I've said all I can say about surfing. Here's how I see it: Hope they all join us, but if not, fuck em, I'll at least see you out there this spring and that's fucking glorious to me.

**dmvernona** · November 11th, 2005, 11:18 PM

yes, i remember that. and hell yeah man. we're going to fucking do it to death this spring. if we weren't already super-guerilla style beach squatters this summer we're going to be taking it all to the next level. i just wish i could get a swell to try my wetsuit with dana this weekend.

i think i might have come down on my response a little too cynically for even my own good before so as far as caustic sagebrush is concerned, do go ahead and let me know when/how i'm going to die. i'd be entertained to hear.

to answer your two questions:

1. experience can make a person seem older than they are. nothing actually makes a person older than they are.

2. as noted above, a good song, but also a hell of a question as it was posed. if i didn't like any person who said "See if you don't still lie to yourself on this one: what is love?" unsolicitedly i'd find out if they were serious/sober in their posing of the question, then condemn the fuck out of them for being so filthy self-rightously pretentious if so.

please either elaborate politely on what the fuck you mean to bring up/question or i'm going to donkey punch you when you're asleep in your apt. when i visit.

also, i don't know if insincerity is an ironic joke to others but the older i get the more it irks me.

that said, if:

"If those two aren't hooks enough, our more advanced students should have something to pick at from the rest of this message.

If not, you are all mentally insufficient, and are what you fear: little boys banging instruments and trying their hardest to keep their heads above the intellectual tide."

was said in the closest semblance of sincerity that could be posed by someone attempting to condemn people one isn't capable of evaluating enough to try so avidly and rudely you're a fucking asshole. please explain to me how you think this is funny. that's what i'm banking on. otherwise you just unveiled the most self-worshipping attempt at intellectual elitism i've even encountered.

on a lighter note, if you end posts directed at our general hostboard public in "kisses," be prepared to slip count stinkfistula the tounge.

[ November 11, 2005 07:35 PM: Message edited by: fickgmarkt ]

**dmvernona** · November 12th, 2005, 04:34 AM

hey tombo, your pretentious babble isn't going to illicit a response from me. i find it annoying.

as far as continuing a surf convo, you and i are the only ones who can weigh in too heavily and i don't know what else to say. feel free though

getting back to previous subjects, i talked to fishtown a bit and to take ideas in a different direction, i think we've established somewhat of how we all feel about the nature of man and its future. what i've been up to since i was up there with him is the idea that the species' future isn't even a question of the sum of individual's morality neccessarily. i think it's even more abstract...any insights?

i was just about to get into an indepth post but i just had a conversation that thoroughly pissed me the fuck off so i'm done.

[ November 11, 2005 12:51 PM: Message edited by: fickgmarkt ]

**Tommy.callahan** · November 12th, 2005, 06:29 AM

Well, Well, Well. It seems to be that time of month again - that special time when Davey forgets his place. You called down the thunder, well now you got it - ladies and gentlemen, It is again that time for me to wail on the one inch nail.

Jesus Christ, NAME HERE, you sure do whip it out fast enough for someone who has trouble getting it past the crack.

Sure, it's easy for you to rip on insincerity, but at least I'm trying. Out of the two of us, I'm not the one with a message board who e-mails the other, beseeching him to breathe life into it.

Here I am, doing you the same old favor, lending you my celebrity. And do you know how little you do for me? This is a transcript of the last time I tried to get laid.

Me: My friend's in a band. I generously put them in my movies all the time. Would you like to hear it?

Special Lady Friend: Sure.

[they listen to the music]

Special Lady Friend: You sure are nice, putting that band into your REAL art. Can I ask a question?

Me: Sure.

Lady: Why is it that the vocals, guitar, and bass are fine, but the drummer sounds like he's from a German Novelty Band?

Me: He's "special."

Lady: What, Like He's so good, he's past good?

Me: No, like: the other guys couldn't find another way to get him to stop eating glue, until they stuck two phallic objects in his sticky fists and let him hit things.

Lady: Well, I can't respect a man whose friend sucks a drumming, writing, and insults.

Me: It's okay, he's from Camden!

Lady: You're saying that his goal in life is to be mistaken for a hick from Philedelphia?

Me: In so many words, yes.

Lady: Why don't the other band members kick him out?

Me: Because then he'd throw a fit, like he does about everything. Trust me, aside from homosex and the ability to fall on his head, fits are one of the few things he's good at.

END SCENE

Remember boys and gals - (and OiN) insincerity is one of the few universal languages. Not even sarcasm is so pan-cultural. So the next time you insult me, remember...Denver is cold. You act like a bitch, you sleep like a bitch - outside.

[ November 12, 2005 02:24 PM: Message edited by: fickgmarkt ]

**Tommy.callahan** · November 12th, 2005, 06:30 AM

P.S. - Kisses.

**Tommy.callahan** · November 12th, 2005, 06:59 AM

P.P.S. - Big Tobacco, if you're listening, I can get you a great deal on me.

**Tommy.callahan** · November 12th, 2005, 08:40 AM

Hey, isn't this avatar really cool?

It's a skull. That's cool, and cool is what I am, so my avatar is a reflection of me.

Gosh, I could just go on about how rad my little square picture is. It's like a gold star that I get everytime a say something stupid and unimportant. Want to change the world? go kill yourselves, then we'd all appreciate one thing you did. Because nothing you do or say matters, and neither do your lives.

If I went to the trouble of learning some different languages, I'd be able to find eight of you in every country. Eight people just like you, with the tiniest exceptions. Hell, if I went to india, I bet I could find 10 or 11.

Or, I could save myself the trouble of learning dumb messages, going to stinky countries, and getting on a plane, and go to any high school in america. The poor kids will agree with you for money, the middle class kids will agree with you for acceptance, so they don't have to really earn it, and the rich kids will agree with you so that they can tell their friends that they have friends who make less money than them, because that's how they get boners.

Nobody's special, and freedom is a joke.
I will not be held accountable for what is said when the ambien's in my head.